Dear pastors:
Next time you catch someone sleeping during your service, instead of getting offended, kindly whisper to everyone to slip out of the room quietly and take the lost and found box of clothes and toss them around the sleeper. Have someone blow the shofar and film the results of the one who missed the rapture. It helps if you have select ones from the youth group, the recovering alcoholics group, and a politician seated nearby ...all crying.