Saturday, September 19, 2015

1. Does music express emotions or just elicit them? Read the next 200 pages to not find out.
- Welldogmycats

2. Girls take birth control. Girls then pee out unmetabolized estrogens from birth control. Pee goes to water treatment plant, estrogens not treated, male fish become female fish.
- Altzul

3. Nanoparticles are weird and I accidentally made a bomb and electrocuted myself.

4. People trying meditation for the first time get aroused.
- PainMatrix

5. When I get rid of this gene, it messes the brain up. A lot.
- NeuroscienceNerd

6. Computer AI systems can learn to operate a warp drive and automatically build an instructional system to train people how to do it. My dissertation is probably the only one in existence to reference the Star Trek technical manual.
- DrBiometrics

7. My experimental drug does NOT cure addiction.
- NotSoCleverPork

8. Making new magnets from old magnets because we're running out of magnets.
- IAmAHiggsBoson

9. Inpatients with schizophrenia are happier and socialize more in the context of a music listening group. It was obvious before we began the project and we learned nothing.
- Wouldyestap

10. Little things stick together. Here's a slightly easier way to calculate their stickiness.
- Born2bwire

11. There are amoebas living in volcanos, but I never captured Bigfoot on film (I tried).

12. We can take random pieces of bacterial DNA from beaver poop and put them into other bacteria to discover new things, like how to break wood down into biofuels. Yes, I had to dissect dead beavers and handle their poop.
- Geneius

13. This protein looks like it might contribute to asthma. Oh, turns out it probably doesn't.
- Bear_Ear_Fritters

14. I crunch numbers using a supercomputer in the hopes of ensuring a fusion reactor in France doesn't get fried on the inside.
- PhysicsFornicator

15. Two proteins touch each other in a specific place in the developing heart. No idea if it's important for anything.
- Penguinpaige

16. I can make models of galaxies in a computer, but I can't explain why they don't act like real ones. Even if I bash them together or stir them around.
- McMillan_Astro

17. People sometimes think about animals as if they're people. People like those animals a little more than regular animals. Except when they don't. I can't believe they gave me a PhD.
- too_many_mangos

18. Sand washes away, don't build important stuff on it
- Zoidy

19. Why does a coffee stain looks the way it is, and how you can use it to make anti-laser glasses.
- Stockholm-Syndrom

20. You can make antimatter move in strange ways if you set your equipment up wrong.
- DrTBag

Twenty Simple Pleasures

1. Lying in bed on a stormy morning and not having to get up.

2. When someone you're interested in scratches you softly.

3. When something stuck between your teeth finally gets out.

4. The moment you see the waiter/waitress approaching on the horizon with your food.

5. Opening up your windows after a long, cold winter. When the breeze brings the smell of flowers and fresh mowed grass into your bedroom.

6. That little window of time where you're lying in bed awake just on the precipice where you could fall back asleep for another hour or two if you wanted, and then you realize you can.

7. Being finished with something you really dread doing. It's a huge weight off your mind and a sense of accomplishment rolled into one.

8. After a weekend away, going number 2 in your own bathroom.

9. When you're able to genuinely make another person(s) laugh.

10. Waking up feeling rested. It happens so rarely, that when it does you feel like you can take anything on that day.

11. Having a fresh-from-the-dryer load of laundry thrown on top of you.

12. When you have had water in your ear all day, and then that nice fuzzy moment when the lukewarm water leaves your ear.

13. Having the song on the radio finish at the exact instant you pull into your driveway and turn off the car.

14. Hearing that gentle crumbly sound your vacuum makes when it picks something up.

15. Fresh sheets on your bed.

16. Laughing. We do it all the time but I think we take it for granted how pleasurable it actually is.

17. First gulp of water after walking home on a hot day.

18. Taking skiing boots off after a long day in the mountains.

19. Taking off cold wet socks and putting on dry new ones.

20. Going to bed after taking a shower.

This be talk like a Pirate Day

I will do me best t' talk like a pirate from time t' time. I know it must be entertainin' since so many do it. So here's me best shot.

If I were to post a current news story in pirate, this is how it comes out:

Defense Obama nominates openly gay man t' lead Arme

President Obama be nominatin' Eric Fannin' t' be t' next Arme secretary. If confirmed by t' Senate, Fannin' would be t' first openly gay person t' lead a branch o' t' armed services. “Eric brin's many years o' proven experience and exceptional leadership t' this new role,” Obama said in a statement. “I look fore t' workin' with Eric t' keep our Arme t' very best in t' world.

Fannin' has served as t' deputy undersecretary and deputy chief management officer for t' Department o' t' Navy, deputy director o' t' Commission on t' Prevention o' Weapons o' Mass Destruction Proliferation and Terrorism, undersecretary o' t' Air Force, and later as t' actin' U.S. secretary o' t' Air Force. Most recently he served as chief o' staff t' t' secretary o' Defense and actin' undersecretary o' t' Arme.

Gay starboards groups heralded t' news o' t' nomination and urged Congress t' confirm him swiftly.


Even in pirate it's a really bad idea... 

Thursday, September 17, 2015

The Post-Obama America

Obama has only fifteen months remaining in the White House, and
stopping implementation of some of his most harmful measures by refusing
to fund their implementation is the best, and only, response to a
President who proceeds as if he is the sole branch of government.

For America to work again, Congress has to work the way it was
intended, and that means reasserting their prerogatives.  Whether that
be through insisting that the treaty ratification process be followed,
or by setting the nation’s spending priorities in very specific ways to
stop Obama’s executive overreach, the next three weeks will be
instrumental in determining if the leaders of the legislative branch
will fight to swing the balance of power back toward the vision upon
which our nation was founded.

Stay tuned, while the “fights” in Congress may seem like spinning
wheels, in the end, they have real meaning for post-Obama America.The Post-Obama America

The War isn't Coming, it's HERE!

We are entering a war for the survival of America. Back in the day
issues would rise up, and America would address them. Like the riots of
the sixties. One issue, civil rights. Even WWII was one issue. It’s
different now. Then entire world seems to have decided our day has come
and gone, and those with agendas think they have a better idea. There
are new enemies. The funny people that we used to laugh at in Bob Hope
movies are now killing pretty girls and leaving their bodies dashed on
the rocks. Mexicans who once slipped over the border to pick oranges
suddenly have become a political force. Martin Luther King has been
replaced by raving maniacs who want to kill everything lighter than

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who will ignore a
lump in the middle of their forehead, and those who take action. Let’s
do some math. Most people in this country, well at least 51%, just want
to live, work, and retire. We hire people like politicians, police, and
doctors to see after things that we can’t while we work those jobs and
fund everything. We are NOT sheep, NOT fools, and NOT stupid. We built
cars, buildings, raised wheat, cows, and our kids, and didn’t care which
direction some camel jockey prayed to. When a national threat came we
drafted our young men, and they went OVER THERE and shot them folks up,
and then came home to build more cars, buildings, and grow more wheat.
And the world hated us for it.

Europe is nothing but a bunch of weak, stupid, liberal girly-men who
shoot their mouths off until a real man (like Hitler) comes along and
bytch-slaps them back to reality. While they were poking fun at us the
refugee invasion just walked in and took command. Hitler would be
spinning in his grave, if he had one. He’d think, “Shucks, I wasted all
those bullets? All I had to do was tell the German people to just walk
across the Polish border and move in!” Europe is getting exactly what it
deserves. They devalued their currency with the Euro, nullified their
government, refused to fully support us in any war, except the ones
where THEIR arses were on the line, married homosexuals, smoked dope,
and now they stand back in snake amazement as a bunch of illiterate
religions nuts take over their streets. I’m a simple old boy from
Austin, not a STUPID old boy from Austin! 

Read the whole thing

The War isn't Coming, it's HERE! - Tea Party Tribune - Tea Party Tribune

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Teen Dies Of Alcohol Poisoning After Parents Try To Teach Him A Very Bad Lesson About Drinking

alcohol and sigaretteMost likely none of us want our kids to start smoking, or drinking before they are old enough, but keeping a teenager from doing either of those things is pretty difficult. When it comes to smoking, there’s a famous and folksy old “tough love” punishment where parents who catch their kids smoking force the kid to finish smoking the whole pack, in the hopes that the kid will feel terribly sick and associate smoking with awful nausea and will never want to smoke again. That doesn’t exactly sound like a great idea, but some parents try it anyway. When it comes to alcohol, however, that is a wildly inappropriate and dangerous thing to do, and now one set of parents is facing charges after their teenage son died of alcohol poisoning after they tried to “teach him a lesson.”
According to Yahoo Parenting, 16-year-old Kendal Balls died of alcohol poisoning in early July after drinking with his stepfather. Balls’ mother, Paulette Richardson, says they gave Kendal a few shots of Fireball whiskey and a few shots of Jack Daniels over the course of about two hours, and that they were hoping he would get a bad hangover that would “teach him a lesson” about alcohol and inspire him to stay away from it. The Richardsons say Balls’ biological father is an alcoholic and they were worried that he would take after him and were just trying to help. But however much alcohol Balls consumed was enough to kill him.

Balls’ stepfather, Joseph Richardson, says Balls went to bed around 10:30 p.m., and he went to check on him at 3:45 a.m. and found him unresponsive. The Richardsons called 911, but their son died, and a coroner’s report found that his blood alcohol level was 0.587, which is more than seven times the legal limit for an adult in Wyoming.

This is a tragic, awful story and a terrible, irresponsible act of idiocy on the part of the parents. Everyone knows that too much alcohol can kill a person, and a bad hangover never stopped anyone from drinking anyway.

The Richardsons have been arrested and charged with involuntary manslaughter for the death of their son. They face up to 20 years in prison if convicted.

Today's Tax-Free Pot Day in Colorado

Tokers can thank quirky state tax law for their good fortune

By Newser Editors,  Newser Staff

Posted Sep 16, 2015 11:39 AM CDT
(Newser) – They knew this day was coming, and now it's here. It's tax-free cannabis day in Colorado, where due to a quirk in the state's tax law, buyers of recreational marijuana will be relieved of most taxes on their purchase, the AP reports. The one-day "holiday" means Colorado won't collect 10% sales tax on pot, and it will also suspend a 15% excise tax on marijuana growers. The tax break is happening because Colorado underestimated overall state tax collections last year, which means automatic suspension of any new taxes—in this case, the recreational marijuana taxes voters approved in 2013.
Retailers are hoping for big crowds today, though the state had no estimate on how many shoppers might turn out. "Our hopes are high, and we're going to push as hard as we can to see as many customers as we can," the owner of two Denver dispensaries tells 7News Denver. The taxes revert to 25% tomorrow, the AP notes. (Don't go too crazy, weed fans: Smoking too much may be linked to prediabetes.)