I heard about this study. I happen to agree. If a woman is constantly disagreeable it's because she is so insecure that she needs validation the only way she understands, and that is to be argued with. If that's withdrawn she doesn't become happier, but angrier and more bitchy. I know several overly compliant men who are exactly in this situation because they haven't the guts to stand up to their wives. Tell they they are wrong and set them down. That will garner respect and quiet the anger.
Psychiatrists say it is because women need love and affection and men need respect. So it's a strategy to get what both want. This study is a case in point. Here's how it all went down:
Based on the assumption that men would rather be happy than be right,"
and so, as part of the test, this guy, "was told to agree with his wife
in all cases." No matter what, she was right. She was not in on it.
The wife had no idea that this was a test, that this was a research
project. "However, based on the assumption that women would rather be
right than be happy, the doctors decided not to tell the wife why her
husband was suddenly so agreeable," because one day, the husband was
agreeing with everything.
Whatever she said, whatever request, whatever command, he did it.
Whatever opinion she expressed, he agreed, and they wanted to find out
if that would promote marital harmony. If the man... Notice upon whom
the burden falls here. If the man would simply subordinate what he
thinks is right to what his wife thinks is right, the theory is,
everybody's be happier. So they put it to the test.
"Both spouses were asked to rate their quality of life on a scale of 1
to 10 (with 10 being the happiest) at the start of the experiment and
again on Day 6." They were supposed to rate and record their quality of
life on the 1-to-10 scale. "It's not clear how long the experiment was
intended to last, but it came to an abrupt halt on Day 12. 'By then the
male participant [the husband] found the female participant to be
increasingly critical of everything he did,' the researchers reported."
Despite the fact he was agreeing with her every time something came
up. He was doing everything she wanted. Every request, from "take out
the trash" to "do the dishes" to, "Why don't you do this?" whatever, she
was always right, and he agreed with it, and there wasn't one challenge
-- and she became increasingly critical of him as time went on. It did
not promote the harmony that they all expected.
It did just the act opposite. She became so disagreeable, so
critical, that he "couldn't take it anymore, so he made his wife a cup
of tea," and on day 12 he revealed that they were part of a research
study that she hadn't been let in on. "That led the researchers to
terminate the study." The whole thing's blown. When the wife knows
what's going on, the whole research project is blown.
"Over the 12 days of the experiment," spearmint, for those of you in
Rio Linda, "the husband's quality of life plummeted from a baseline
score of 7 all the way down to 3. The wife started out at 8 and rose to
8.5 by Day 6. She had no desire to share her quality of life with the
researchers on Day 12, according to the report." By day 12, this couple
practically hated each other. The wife had lost all respect for the
husband; the husband was miserable.
Remember, the test was he's just to agree with her, 'cause the
premise here is if you take a lot of friction out of life, you're happy.
Forget about being right, forget about being dominant. Just whatever.
Just be bipartisan. Just try to make the other person like you. Don't
disagree at all. Don't have any argument. Don't have any bickering.
Whatever the other side wants, agree with them. Compromise!
It led to utter disaster and near divorce in 12 days.
Because the wife, rather than be made happy by a constantly agreeable
husband, began to nag him even more. No matter what he did, it wasn't
good enough. No matter how strenuously he agreed, she didn't believe
it. No matter what was going on, every effort the husband made to
remove any friction whatsoever, all it did was add it. "[T]he team was
able to draw some preliminary conclusions. 'It seems that being right,
however, is a cause of happiness, and agreeing with what one disagrees
with is a cause of unhappiness,' they wrote."
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