Why Bitchy and Argumentitive Women get WORSE if you are Compliant men

I heard about this study.  I happen to agree.  If a woman is constantly disagreeable it's because she is so insecure that she needs validation the only way she understands, and that is to be argued with.  If that's withdrawn she doesn't become happier, but angrier and more bitchy.  I know several overly compliant men who are exactly in this situation because they haven't the guts to stand up to their wives.  Tell they they are wrong and set them down.  That will garner respect and quiet the anger.

Psychiatrists say it is because women need love and affection and men need respect.  So it's a strategy to get what both want.   This study is a case in point. Here's how it all went down:

Based on the assumption that men would rather be happy than be right," and so, as part of the test, this guy, "was told to agree with his wife in all cases." No matter what, she was right.  She was not in on it.  The wife had no idea that this was a test, that this was a research project.  "However, based on the assumption that women would rather be right than be happy, the doctors decided not to tell the wife why her husband was suddenly so agreeable," because one day, the husband was agreeing with everything.

Whatever she said, whatever request, whatever command, he did it.  Whatever opinion she expressed, he agreed, and they wanted to find out if that would promote marital harmony.  If the man... Notice upon whom the burden falls here. If the man would simply subordinate what he thinks is right to what his wife thinks is right, the theory is, everybody's be happier.  So they put it to the test.

"Both spouses were asked to rate their quality of life on a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being the happiest) at the start of the experiment and again on Day 6." They were supposed to rate and record their quality of life on the 1-to-10 scale. "It's not clear how long the experiment was intended to last, but it came to an abrupt halt on Day 12.  'By then the male participant [the husband] found the female participant to be increasingly critical of everything he did,' the researchers reported."

Despite the fact he was agreeing with her every time something came up. He was doing everything she wanted. Every request, from "take out the trash" to "do the dishes" to, "Why don't you do this?" whatever, she was always right, and he agreed with it, and there wasn't one challenge -- and she became increasingly critical of him as time went on. It did not promote the harmony that they all expected.

It did just the act opposite.  She became so disagreeable, so critical, that he "couldn't take it anymore, so he made his wife a cup of tea," and on day 12 he revealed that they were part of a research study that she hadn't been let in on.  "That led the researchers to terminate the study."  The whole thing's blown.  When the wife knows what's going on, the whole research project is blown.

"Over the 12 days of the experiment," spearmint, for those of you in Rio Linda, "the husband's quality of life plummeted from a baseline score of 7 all the way down to 3. The wife started out at 8 and rose to 8.5 by Day 6. She had no desire to share her quality of life with the researchers on Day 12, according to the report."  By day 12, this couple practically hated each other.  The wife had lost all respect for the husband; the husband was miserable.

Remember, the test was he's just to agree with her, 'cause the premise here is if you take a lot of friction out of life, you're happy. Forget about being right, forget about being dominant. Just whatever. Just be bipartisan.  Just try to make the other person like you.  Don't disagree at all.  Don't have any argument. Don't have any bickering.  Whatever the other side wants, agree with them. Compromise!

It led to utter disaster and near divorce in 12 days.

Because the wife, rather than be made happy by a constantly agreeable husband, began to nag him even more.  No matter what he did, it wasn't good enough.  No matter how strenuously he agreed, she didn't believe it.  No matter what was going on, every effort the husband made to remove any friction whatsoever, all it did was add it.  "[T]he team was able to draw some preliminary conclusions. 'It seems that being right, however, is a cause of happiness, and agreeing with what one disagrees with is a cause of unhappiness,' they wrote."