Friday, February 17, 2006

Mohammed Voodoo Doll

I am really sick and tired of Islamic fascists rioting all over the world over a few cartoons depicting Mohammed in some form or another. 
I won't even go into the sacrilege that goes on with Jesus and film and art.
My Christian freinds have thought about burning down a KFC if the DaVinci code is shown in our town.  But we won't.
It is so wrong to be killing and destroying when at the same time the people fomenting these riots are creating suicide bombers who kill little kids, behead Americans, and destroy innocent life every day.  No riots over that. 
I have come up with a solution.  I am going to propose to some entrepreneur out there to create a Mohammed Voodoo Doll.  A doll that looks like and is named Prophet Mohammed.  The business could be called, Graven Islamic Images, Inc. They could find likenesses of Mohammed on Google Images.  Sell these dolls on the internet for $10 each.  I'll buy a dozen.
I don't believe in Voodoo.  But I figure people that believe that a sure trip to heaven with mass quantities of virgins at the other end is strapping yourself into a Honda a blowing yourself, anyone that stupid probably believes in Voodoo. 
So, here's the deal Islamic nutcases, you blow up some little kids in Iraq, Mohammed gets a pin or two in the gut, you kill one of our men or women, Mohammed gets knifed, you behead one of ours, Mohammed loses his head and I'll think of some porky desecration to boot.
I'll need to buy a dozen at a time since I plan to destroy his image often.
And, oh by the way, you riot over this, it's a ham and Mohammed soufflĂ© I'll feed to my dog.  He'll eat anything. 
It's time to call this what it is, global Islamic insanity. 

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Burned up - Burned out

 I went to see a business associate and man I friend last night.  His life changed a couple weeks ago. 
His house burned and everything in it.
I have never had such an experience. I've had floods.  But not burning.
He is upbeat.  That's the kind of man he is.  Neighbors have taken him in.  They will rebuild.  Life is going on.
But, as he told me of starting over, a few issues he related shook me.  He has no clothes.  They were all burned. All his wife's clothes.  No shoes.  No suits.  No coats winter or otherwise.  Just the virtual shirt on his back and his wife's. 
They aren't broke.  They have insurance.  Insurance is paying for the restoration of life.  But I thought about my shoes.  I would miss some of them.  My passport.  My birth certificate.  My pictures.  My computer stuff. 
I guess Katrina was far away for me.  They lost everything too.  But, Burning out completely gave me a start.
I admire him.  I might whine a little more than he does.  On the other hand, he reports it's kinda freeing.  I mean all his stuff is gone.  Some was stuff he was happy to see go. 
There is an old saying, 3 moves are as good as a fire.  I have moved more than 3 times in 20 years.  But fire seems more permanent and less discretionary.  I don't think that saying is true anymore.
Hang in there Randy, you have friends.  I'm one of them.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Hearts of Hearts

Feb 14, Valentines Day. This is 43 of them that Peggy and I have spent as sweethearts. 
She's still my valentine.  I want the world to know.  But you already do if you read this at all.
This morning, after a fast, she took a Cholesterol test.  Before she called me with the results I knew what they were.  Having a prophetic gift is a burden sometimes.  Sometimes I would rather not.
Genetics are the problem.  I am out of shape and overweight and have the Cholesterol readings of an athlete.  She is trim but carries around DNA that is against her and is a few straws short of 280. 
It's not fair and it's not lifestyle. 
She's a tigress.  No statin drugs for her.  She will have to have it monitored.  She is scheduled to go back in a few months. She is determined to do this with lifestyle changes.  If she makes lifestyle changes I will have to as well. Couldn't hurt. 
But, I held her last night, thinking of the DNA that created who we are, and thought of a quote a friend of mine uses often, "You can't repent of your DNA". 
But maybe we can try.

Arrest That Opera

Last Night Peggy and I went to the Lyric Opera again.  Twice in one week. It was Das Rosenkavilier by Richard Strauss.  I had heard it on the radio broadcast from New York.  I had never seen it. 
I guess superlatives leave me a little short.  It was fabulous in every manifestation you can imagine. 
The music was sublime.  4 hours never went by so fast. I didn't fidget in my seat as I usually do.  I just sat entranced. 
The costuming extraordinary.  It was very 18th century Vienna.  Classical. but beautiful without being ostentatious.
The sets were why I love our Chicago Lyric Opera company.  Intricate, believable, clever.
And the singers.  I know why the "male lead" is a trouser role but a young tenor would do as well and maybe be a little funnier.  Susan Graham was and is a great actor and played the part of a man playing the part of a woman.
I loved it all.  I have always loved certain operas but this one was exceptional.  Listenening to it will never be the same.  I will see this again. 
BUT, don't you hate when there's a but?  There is one issue I wondered about. 
The story starts and ends with the conflict over an affair between a character of high Royalty (a Marshallin) of perhaps late 30's or early 40's.  She has a young lover.  Really young.  17 years young.
OK, I understand, this was 18th century.  Things were different.  But, today we are putting 30 something female teachers in jail for having sex with teenage boys.  Just like in this opera.   I know, opera is full of all kinds of weird sexual stuff.  Wagner is famous for it.  But, this poignant love triangle plays itself out and you find yourself for feeling sorry for the older woman who is losing her little boy sex object to a young woman he is going to marry. 
I'm not defending teachers who seduce their students.  I am saying, maybe it was ever thus.  Maybe we don't understand this whole woman man boy girl thing well.  Maybe men and women are different.  Maybe the whole attempt to level the playing field and attempt to make men and women the same is wrong. 
Just asking.
On the other hand, as I got home at 2 pm (the opera got over at nearly midnight) I was still floating and singing "Ohne Mich". 
See this opera if you ever get the chance.  It's Grand.

Monday, February 13, 2006


One of the reasons for friction among liberals and conservatives is that we often don't even speak the same language. Words can take on a very different meaning when used by the other side, and so to help everyone sort it out, here is a quick list of words and their leftist meanings:

Freedom Fighter = jihadist holding aloft Danny Pearl's head.

Terrorist = anyone working in the Bush administration.

Freedom of Speech = liberals uttering nonsense.

Hate Speech = pointing out liberal nonsense.

Racist = fallback position when you have nothing else to argue.

Intolerant = actually believing that some things are wrong.

Economic Justice = gimme gimme gimme.

Spending Cuts = not as much government growth as we'd like.

Tax Cuts = the worst idea since anti-communism.

Torture = anything causing discomfort.

Mainstream = killing unborn children and men marrying men.

Nazi = anyone who disagrees with me.

Moderate = anyone to the right of Pol Pot and to the left of Hubert Humphrey.

Hero = Fidel Castro.

Enemy = Joe Lieberman.

Bipartisan = Democratic legislation.

Divisive = Republican legislation.

War on Terror = a fake war that unfortunately pummels us at the polls.

Social Security = insignificant problem that will go away on its own.

Welfare = Free ride for the rest of your life on the government... Woo hoo!


Abortion = Birth control... (And the government should pay for it.)


Stolen Election- any election won by a Republican


Moderate = Hillary Clinton...


Social Security = A wonderful retirement plan.


Jimmy Carter = Peace maker and Great President. (a great liberal delusion)


Liberal Media = Objective Reporting


Whistleblower = upstanding citizens who tattle on the Bush administration.

Leaker = dirty rats who try to expose liberal plots against Bush.

Perjury = A good idea if you can get away with it...


Progressive=Anything but.



Deadeye Dick

So that you won't have to watch Leno, Letterman, or the Daly Show on comedy central here are the Jokes you will hear.  As you know Dick Cheney shot a friend with buckshot by accident while hunting quail.  He's ok.
So, here are some Obvious Jokes you will hear that if they tell them you must shut your TV off in disgust. I'm not funny and even I can crack these:
Anything Deadeye Dick
Having to do with a member of the Gang that couldn't Shoot Straight
Why doesn't Dick take ______________ Hunting.  Insert political nemesis name here.  Hillary, Soros, Carter. 
Dick should have gone to Iraq because______________.
Dick Cheney weapon of mass destruction.
The list is long and already tedious.  If you are a member of the joke writing team for any of the above mentioned shows, no joke here, nothing to see, try being just a little bit creative. 
They won't be.

True Believer or Truly Deceived

Someone is badly deceived. It might be you, it might be me. So, to clear this up I suggest you take this truth test and see who it really is.
Do you believe:
1. That OBL would not have bombed us again if we had done nothing whatsoever in response to the terrorist bombings of 9-11.
2. That the strife in Europe with Muslims going on right now would have not have happened without the Iraq war.
3. That the Islamic Fundamentalist Fascists would have backed down and played nice if we had done nothing after 9-11.
4. That the country of Iran would not have pursued Nuclear Weapons had we not gone into Iraq or Afghanistan.
5. That the bombings which happened in London would not have happened if we had not been in Iraq.

6. That Iraq under Saddam would have been impotent and innocuous in the world if we had just let him alone.


7. That the bombings in Bali, the execution slaying of Theo Van Gogh, the bombings of embassies in Saudi Arabia would not have happened if we would not have gone into Iraq.
8. That the fact we are in Iraq and Afghanistan is no deterrence to the current crisis in potentially nuclear Iran.
9. That if we leave Iran alone, leave and whistle in the dark that everything will work out just fine.
10. That an independent free Iraq and Afghanistan is bad influence for the other middle eastern countries.
11. That the fact there were snafus in prewar intelligence our presence in Iraq has worsened the world situation and it's all Bush's fault.
Give yourself 5 points for every Yes answer and a Zero for every NO.
0-15: You are on solid intelectual ground. It's not pretty but you aren't decieved.
16-30: Good basic roots but you need to reflect a little more on the whole thing. There is hope. Watch more Fox News.
31-50: Too Much CNN and New York Times media influence. Try relaxing and openng your mind a little bit. It won't hurt. There may be hope of sanity for you.
55: Head firmly inserted in the Sand and other places. There's little hope for you. Give up. Read Alice in Wonderland. You are one of them.