SMILE

What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese
Where do polar bears vote? The North poll
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch
What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny
Why did the chicken cross the road? To show everyone he wasn’t chicken
What did the buffalo say to his son when he went away on a trip? Bison
What did the spider do on the computer? He made a website
How do bees get to school? By school buzz
What do you call a bear with no ear? B
How can you tell the ocean is friendly? It
waves!
What was the most popular dance in 1776? Indepen-dance
What did the computer do at lunchtime? Had a byte
What does a baby computer call his father? Data
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open
Why are dogs such bad dancers? They have two left feet.
What did the bean said to another bean? How’ve ya bean?
What did the doctor say to the midget? You just have to be a little patient.
Why do the French like to eat snails? Because they don’t like fast food
What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit? An astronut

A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a tube of ChapStick. The cashier says to the duck, “That’ll be $1.49”. The duck replies, “Put it on my bill."

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, “You’re quite a celebrity around here. We’ve even got a drink named after you!” The grasshopper says, “You’ve got a drink a drink named Steve?"

“Doctor” jokes
Patient: “Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea”.
Doctor: “Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink”.

“Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?”
“Yes, of course!"
"Good I never could before!"

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch It hurts! When I touch my shoulder, it hurts. If I touch my knee –OUCH! When I touch my head, it really, really hurts!” The doctor replied, “Man, you have a broken finger!”