When I was training to be an instructor for Dale Carnegie in the 70s I had an instructor trainer ask me a hard question. "Do you love her (one of the classmembers) enough to help her not sit down on failure".
I had been hard on the young girl, I had not allowed her to err and improve. As a result she ended up in tears.
I learned from that.. correction must be appropriate and helpful, not harsh.
Then the other day I was in a store where they sell pet supplies. I was there with a friend. I have no pet. Did, don't want one anymore. I was stunned by the amount of "stuff" (there is a better word, but not right for this blog) that there is available for dogs and cats. WAY OVER THE TOP STUFF.
People love their animals.
They feed them, hold them, pet them, talk to them, love on them, protect them, take them with and allow the pet to enjoy but not so much that they are subject to harm. They don't demean them for making a mistake. They forgive. They would never abuse nor hurt their pet. They pay big money to people able to train them. If they get sick they will spend amazing amounts of money on vet bills to get them well. I watched the horse race yesterday and had the same impression. People spend an awful lot on animals.
Parents of successful children treat them pretty well. They know their legacy is wrapped up in that child. That the child's behavior will be a reflection of who the pareents are. Just like in horseracing. They feed, clothe, correct, school, train, encourage and never abuse the child. They are very careful NOT to allow the child to be in a place of danger.
We know there is a hope for tomorrow and we know where business leaders will come from. The children of parents who treat their kids like a dog. (Pet Dog).
I see lots of kids running wild on the streets, late at night, getting hurt, some killed, hanging out with all the wrong kind, ingesting things that a 15 year old boy or girl shouldn't be ingesting.
If they let their dog loose like this they would be arrested, or at a least fined.
The question is, in our broken culture, do we really love our children enough. I'm not talking about just TELLING them you love them, not just hugging them, not just celebrating milestones. I'm talking about every day treating them as if they were growing. Allowing for mistakes but correcting. We are losing a generation because of bad parenting. I know many have absent parents (mothers or fathers). I know they are doing the best they can do. Yet when I see the statistics and the news, it's not enough. we need to do better.
It's time to make a change.
That's what we do with our dogs. Let's start treating our children as well as we do our dog.
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