We are taught in churches (mostly as a guilt trip) that we should be more loving toward one another. That they will know we are disciples by our love. That love toward the brethren was a sign of a good church.
My son, Tim, as I was having a discussion about evangelism with him told me that what impressed him about the Church he is a part of, what attracted him was the love.
When I say that, I hear all the pastors out there saying, "Yes and Amen, that's the problem". We don’t show enough LOVE in this Church.
Well here comes old bubble buster Gene. We might be showing the wrong kind. Let me give you a metaphor from real life.
This Sunday the Bears are going to beat the N/O Saints (We walk by faith and not by sight) on the road to the superbowl. I'm a Bear fan. I have a jersey and a tee shirt that says bears. I will wear both on Sunday afternoon and Pray as Grossman throws the ball. Very spiritual stuff.
I can't afford to go to the game. But I watch the fans on TV.
They have a good time. They pass the beers without taking a sip (manlaw), do the wave, sing the fight song (Bear down Chicago Bears, Rah Rah Rah) and when the Bears do something right the give each other high fives, cheer, yell, stand up, give each other hugs, head butt, and generally have a great time. They have in common the victory of a team they are jointly attached to, they honor, have fun with, accept, and generally treat each other as Buddy for the whole game. They don't know if the guy next to them is a gangster, truck driver, bum, or bank president. The concentration is on the Bears. They don't know if the woman next to them is a crack whore, waitress, housewife or the CEO of a major corporation. It's not about them; it's about the Bears.
A Bears game is exactly the kind of Love Jesus was talking about when he told his disciples in the most misunderstood verse of the Bible: By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another John 13:35
The word Love in this badly understood verse is Agape. Not Philia, Not Eros.
Jesus was saying, Love each other like the Bears Fans Love each other and you will "Get it". People will know you are mine as you Agape one another.
In good Bars and Bears Games true Agape is expressed. It's 1 Corinthians 13 Love, it's a Love Feast. If I were to go to a Bears game and get in the middle of the crowd I would be enjoying the fellowship and the game, FEASTING on it. I would want to go again. That’s why tickets are sooooo expensive and always sold out. It’s not always about who wins. It’s group focus. Being part of something bigger than themselves.
Now of course after the game is done if these people saw each other on the elevator, on the street, even in Church and were reminded how WIDE OPEN (another definition of Agape) they were at that game they might be embarrassed to admit that in the real world they don't love each other like they did at the game or half in the bag at the bar. For a few moments in time they were agape-ed at the game. It felt good. They wish it could be like that again. They certainly don’t become “Best Friends” because they go to the same game. The pressure for that level of friendship in the Church is huge. It’s not scriptural. Say with me three times, Agape, Agape, Agape. Besides you should only golf with sinners.
The real definition of Agape according to Zodiates in the Greek form is: Respect, acceptance, no judgment, honor, and esteem, received without qualification.
Sounds like a pretty good Church. Sorry to say it's not the Church you attend. I wish it were.
I wish Real Church could look like a Bears Game. Jesus is the focus. We sing the fight songs. We stand up, we wave our hands, punch the air, give each other high fives and pass the drinks and hotdogs in communion. Everyone is focused on Jesus. It’s exciting, there’s a sense that someone could take a kick and run it back for a touchdown from the one yard line. Anticipation.
It’s our love for Him that drives an Agape love for each other.
What if such a place existed? What if people could come just as they are? What if people were accepted, received, respected, even esteemed them without judgment? Would the Church have any trouble getting people to come back? I think I would even go back.
Love is the key component in Evangelism. I don't call many people Brother, Philia. I call some. You know who you are. I want to be more Agape towards others than I am towards the smaller group I consider brother or sister. I won’t cheapen the appellation as some have. My Eros love is restricted to one person, My Wife.
If you want to try to prove me wrong, I took Mr Strong’s BIG old concordance out this morning and looked up the New Testament verses regarding love. The focus overwhelmingly is that we should Love God as he Loves us. In fact we can't love God unless he empowers us to do so first. We can love one another only in the Love of Christ. The love defined between each other in the Church biblically is almost exclusively Agape in nature.
I have a confession. Not a bad confession. I am part of a smaller fellowship in the Chicagoland region. I have been there since it was formed. It is a diverse group of people. I have an agape love toward them all. I really love them in that way. I know they love me the same. I feel accepted and embraced when I am there.
But there are people in that fellowship that on a friendship basis I don't want to know better. Like at a Bears game. Not everyone in the stands is someone I want to hang out with. In fact, despite the Agape Love I have for these people at this fellowship we have fights. We argue. We don't LIKE each other sometimes. Agape isn't about liking someone. I can have an agape love toward you and not like you. Look back at the description. That was true in the early church. The Apostles fought like cats and dogs and even didn't really like each other all that much sometimes. But they loved each other in the Love of Christ. Agape.
In fact even Eros love doesn't work unless we love Jesus first. But that's a topic for another book.
Love is the answer but it must be the right kind of love to be effective in evangelism. 2 out of 3 are wrong to guilt the congregation with. They are only required to Agape. IF they did, the lost that might visit would stay.
Evangelism Should be driven by Agape Love.
That's the way it's supposed to work.
Tomorrow: The KEY to the heart of the lost, How much do you LOVE THEM?
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