The Solution

I have blogged on this before. But I think it is worth revisiting:

Most problems people have result from a lack of Core Values. I learned that a long time ago and have developed some that I believe are worth considering. They are part of the solution to everything.

If you remember the Tylenol thing that happened in the early 80s when someone put poison in some tablets and people died. Tylenol company pulled them at once. They lost millions of dollars. When quizzed about it the President of the Company said, "There was no discussion. We had already decided in advance what we would do in this situation. It was a core value to us".

That's the way I try to live my life. Sometimes with greater or lesser capacity. I try hard to take certain things off the table so I don't have to think about it when the time to make a hard decision comes along. I revert to my core values. They help me make right decisions.

Here are a few of them.

1. I strive (not always successfully) for 100% integrity in all things. No lying. No Stealing. No Cheating. If I pick it up, I put it back. I want to always be above reproach (to me) in areas of integrity. The book of Proverbs talks a great deal about this. If you are interested: Proverbs 10:9, 11:3, 20:7 and 19:1

This first issues saves me a great deal of pain. Once I filled gasoline in Tennessee. I had someone else's car. I drove away inadvertently without paying. I know I would have easily gotten away with this. But, I drove a half hour back to the station to pay. They didn't even know it had happened. They would have at the end of the day. Who did that matter to. ME. Make the decision to live a life of integrity and you don't have to think about what to do.

2. The success of my ministry, my work, my happiness in life is directly proportional to the depth of my relationship with Jesus and with my wife. I learned this best from a CBMC leader, Carl Boendner. He has illustrated again and again that without those relationships intact and healthy our ministry and business will stumble. I spend a lot of time nurturing and developing those two relationships. Thanks Carl.

3. I try extra hard to love people in the process. I am not by nature a patient person. I can be pretty hard on people. But people who are growing and working at it get a lot of slack from me. I used to be pretty legalistic about Christians who did things many would consider ungodly. But, I have come to the conclusion that ungodly is in the eye of the beholder. Some people can be pretty hard on someone who smokes. If you had to carry your bondage about in a labeled little box in your pocket it would be pretty sad now wouldn't it. So, I love people in the process. If you're not in the process I'm a little meaner.

4. I strive to keep my priorities in divine order. The reason is, whatever is on top of my pile (order) has sometimes undue influence in my life. I have to consciously try to keep my life in order. That order is:

A. Jesus. This includes everything about Jesus. This includes Church. This includes the gathering of believers together. This includes encouraging each other in fellowship. I have always had a hard time with people who give lip service to loving Jesus but don't have anything to do with things of God, Church, Fellowship, Bible Study, etc. I may be old fashioned but I believe in the Church. I believe it is ordained of God and must be nurtured by Godly Men and Women who are sold out for him. That's how I hold Jesus Number One. He is my all in all. That for me is not just a phrase. I really live that way. I stumble, I do dumb things. But my core value is Jesus is number one. Way above everything else.

B. My Marriage to Peggy. I have a wonderful wife. I tell her so every day. I am so fortunate. To this she would agree. But I know for certain that next to Jesus my relationship to her is most important. More important she knows that too. Nothing comes before her except him. She isn't jealous. She feels the same way. So it all works rather good. She doesn't have to wonder where she fits in. She knows, and she likes it that way.

C. My Children. I try to talk to my boys every week. I want to keep the relationship alive. I am not offended that they don't call me. I'm quite happy to be Dad. But, they know that they come really way down the list of my priorities. That was the case growing up too. When I came to realize that Peggy was more important, then I began treating them as they deserve. Respectful encouraging but they are the Kids. Marriages fail when the children carry too much weight. We ran away from our kids when they turned 18. 18 they were gone. That's God's order. Up and out. Then they are just good friends.

D. Friends and Hobbies. I like to Garden. So many of my friends are Hort types. I like things of God so many of my friends are people who are like minded. I have worked in the past with some wonderful people with creative minds. Ken Lea is one of those. I have many stimulating friends. And when it comes to hobbies, mostly we do hobbies with friends. So that's why I include Friends and Hobbies together. My best friend is my Brother Steven with whom I share lots of these interests. But, now he knows where he stands in the Hierarchy.

E. My Business. I work to pay the bills and buy groceries and pay the mortgage. I love to work. I'm good at what I do. But, in the end everything above is more important to me than my career, my business. I am fortunate enough that my hobby and my business overlap. Life is good.

So, in the end, I am a blessed person. And perhaps if you wondered how I stay so blessed, I took a lot of things off the table. Think about what having these core values really means when I make a decision about what I am or am not going to do.

It's very easy. What is my core value?