IF parents don't encourage children to leave the nest for any reason (other than mental illness or limitation, Physical or Mental) after the age of 20. it is a form of child abuse.
I see so many young men living at home off their parents into their 20's, 30's even 4o's. These boys are crippled for life at the hand of incompetent parents. When the parents die or become infirmed the man-child is lost and will die young. Abused.
IF you know of a parent with such a man child in their "Possession" do the boy and his parents a big favor and tell them. Insist. Become irritating. Raise a stink equal to what you would if this were sexual or physical abuse. It's pretty close to the same. This is a silent abuse epidemic. People don't want to hurt parents feelings so they say nothing. The boy thinks doing nothing and hanging out for free with mom and dad is harmless.
I am angry about this. It's personal. We have just such a mess in our own family. (no Steve, not you). The boy in question is crippled...not physically, not mentally, emotionally by an overprotective MOTHER who has never allowed this Man Child to make a decision on his own. He is ruined unless he gets out right now.
What's it to me? Why does it upset me? Because I have seen the net result of this. I have a single dad with two leeches in their 40s living at home doing nothing leaching off him, abusive playing video games all day long. I have said everything I can short of sending the police. If I find they are physically abusing him (I have my concerns) I will dial 9-11. When he dies these toads will be a drag on society or worse criminals.
The Bible says, Train up a Child in the Way he should GO>>>> GO is the operative word here. With kudos to Pastor Phil on this. He preached a great sermon today. A parents primary responsibility is to train up children who will be successful as adults. Many pagans do it better than many Christians. Then when your training up is over at about 18-20 yrs old, out the door.
Here's the truth of the matter, your child at 20 is about as ready as he or she will ever be to live on their own. They will be bad at it, make lots of mistakes, have some bad experiences, get ripped off. but they will find a way to live and survive and eventually prosper if you let them. They may make serious mistakes and you will get a phone call at 3AM from far away. Your answer Mom or Dad is to say, "wow, what are YOU GOING TO DO TO GET OUT OF THIS". Don't bail them out. Let them become successful at solving problems.
It's cruelty to keep these caged birds that should be flying free. IF you did it with a wild animal you would go to jail.
Let them go. At 20 years old a bus ticket and a suitcase should be your best gift.
Girls are a little different. 25 and sayonara.
What do you think will change after 20 (or 25) that hasn't already?
Some things are best learned on the anvil of experience. Give em a hammer and turn them loose.
You will be doing your child an eternal favor.
5 comments:
The fact that this group of people are mandatorily coddled by the new healthcare reform tells me that Obama thinks 180 degrees off from Gene's thinking.
does it apply to a grown man friend? i have a good buddy friend who has been homeless for a year,,i end up feeling sorry for him and was letting him stay on my couch on weekend to give him a reprieve away from his shelters,,for he was getting really depressed...lately i sense i am not helping him doing this, he just sits around watching tv and doesnt seem to want to listen to any suggestion i have on self emprovement..i believe he just needs a man to speak to over him and pull his covers..a woman feeling sorry for him just ends up the old manipulation games, he cant grow like that...quess this could happen with sons, there is a breaking off part emotionally for him to grow,,most space themselves from moms automatically..
Yes, Denise, as painful as it is, His homelessness probably resulted from his not establishing early.
By allowing him to "CRASH" you may have become an enabler.
Certainly I am thankful for everyone who has ever helped me. But there comes a time. He must get back out there. He may not make it. But he might if you give him the room. In your place is not that room. It's all about choices he makes.
Prophet expressions... you could always unleash the power of the prophetic over your friend. Speak into his destiny and spiritually stir up the mans spirit and soul through the power of prayer and watch the Holy spirit move on him.
One of the common things that is missing from many peoples lives that sit around with no sense of purpose and vision is that they have never received their 'blessing' and spiritual release that a parent can bestow on their child. The Patriarchs and the Jewish are well known for imparting their blessings onto their children and then releasing them into the world.
Surely when someone understands the power of the spoken prophetic word and the effect of someones intercession on the behalf of another, that they will make the connection that they can step in and speak the ultimate God lead blessing over another persons life, then releasing their destiny and empowering them to be all that God has intended.
yes true about speaking over prophetically,,i tried this with him but he would hardly recieve prayer on it all or words encouraging,,his focus was to get away from the depressing shelter..well the update on him was i went into intercession with father God on him and asked that a male christian friend come into his life to help him...well we were sitting at the park the very next day talking...and this christian guy walked right up to us starting talking he was lonely for a friends and saw us sitting there..well him and bob starting talking and hit it off real good the guy invited bob over for the nite and i havent seen him since...im so released and happy alos for him to have a male friend who can speak where he can hear it..this is a answer to that prayer
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