Wednesday, April 27, 2005

My Mind is a Terrible thing to Waste

I have been blessed/cursed with a brain that seems to do what it wants. As I get older it seems to be more that way. There is alzheimers in our family. Every time I have a brain hiccup I worry. I mean if 60 is the new 50 (I keep telling myself that) then there is nothing to fear, right?

On the plus side, I have nearly a photographic memory. I can walk by a situation, glance at it and recall detail from the image in my mind that astounds even me. I can read a document and if I care, recall the whole thing even to quoting from it in detail. Bible passages, doctrine stories etc flow out of me easily. 2000 Latin plant names and details about each one which is very boring to most.. Every sermon I ever heard or given. If I read it I can recall it. Jeopardy is my favorite. I'm loaded up (a quote from the Matrix). Speaking of the Matrix, I can rehearse nearly all the dialogue from that movie. This is very weird.

On the Minus side. Your name? My own? Words don't show up. It's a cloud. I will be talking and a word I know well will be right there but unspeakable. I have a wonderful wife who shares the other half of my brain so when I hit pause in my dissertation she can fill in the blank. I am really bad at crosswords, wheel of fortune.

As I get older my certitude becomes greater. The world is less gray and more black and white. I have solutions for nearly everything. I haven't been this smart since I was 17.

I have flashes of what I construe as pure genius. And then quiet spells.

I remember when my dear Uncle and then Father Earl was my age. He said to me, "I have more ideas and concepts than I could ever execute in a lifetime." I don't doubt it. He had a creative mind. They just rolled in his 50s and 60s. Now the struggles of genetics are attacking this brilliant man who once ran for Governor of ND. What a waste.

That's why is is so important to ME (probably not to you) to write my sense of self and my observations. It may be more reliable than my own memory someday.

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