Sunday, May 29, 2005

Memorializing and building relationships

When Abraham Lincoln instituted Decoration Day (now Memorial Day) on the 30th of every May he did so not because the date meant anything in particular, but because the flowers would be in full bloom, available and plentiful along every road. Anyone with ingenuity could make a bouquet and honor their fallen. I don’t know if that’s the whole story but as a horticultural geek I want to believe it.

Growing up in ND I associate Lilac fragrances with Memorial Day. Living in Illinois our lilacs are long since past bloom (except for dwarf Korean which is not what I remember lilacs as). Right now the Weigela, Peonies, shrub roses, and other plants are in full regale. The iris’ are just passed. Native Flag iris’ are doing their thing. It’s green and beautiful.

A roadside plant I love is Queen Anne’s Lace. I just made a pretty bouquet of Peony with accents of lace. Nice.

So decorate away. The roadsides are alive with color and beauty if you can just see it.

Reflecting on this Memorial Day I think about those we have buried in the last few years. My human landscape of friends and relatives is changing. I guess that’s why I value those I have now.

I’m not trying to hold on to or recapture relationships of the past. I am trying to make sure that the ones I have now are real and worthwhile. There are people I communicate with emailing I wish I knew better. Intelligent thinking people whose center is well established. They won’t be pushed around. I like people like that. Not ashamed to be who they are, not trying to meet others expectations. Synthesizing their own opinions not from popular dogma but from deeply held convictions mixed with creative discontent toward the status quo. Those are relationships I look for, desire, and seek out.

And, I love it when people make me laugh not at others expense.

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