Encouragment and Advice

A little boy was giving a book report on Socrates that went as follows:

Socrates was a wise old man who went around giving people advice. They poisoned him.

I feel like Socrates a bit sometimes. Not everyone loves being encouraged or advice. Knowing how and when is difficult. Particularly when I have a positive influence from time to time it's hard not to try and be the encouragement so many have been for me. Sort of Pass it Forward.

In 1975 I became a Dale Carnegie associate under Loehle Gast in Fargo. For the next 10 years I traveled all over the upper Midwest Dakotas and Minnesota conducting training and development programs for Dale Carnegie and Associates. We had 3 programs all of which I taught.

1. Sales Training 12 weeks
2. Confidence Building and Public Speaking 14 weeks
3. Management Development (Sort of an MBA without the Finance part) 8 weeks

I enjoyed what I did and the people I had in my classes found them helpful. Many still point to those experiences and pivotal for their future. So many times people have told me what a difference I made in their life. It’s so rewarding. I keep in touch with many of the approximately thousand people I trained in one of these disciplines.

I have watched many of them go on to great things. Some are very wealthy today. Some have become movers and shakers in politics. Some are Church leaders today. And some are just really great people.

Then there were a few who just didn'’t take. They were people who usually came because their boss told them to. They just showed up. They weren’t going to let anyone encourage them no matter who. Anti Networkers. "I’m miserable and I’m not going to let anyone try to help me." They succeeded at failing. Still do.

So, like the classic lightbulb question: How many Dale Carnegie Instructors does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

SO WHAT, you ask? As an observer of humanity and particularly those with whom I was in Dale Carnegie years ago I have come to these conclusions:

• People who complain about their life but are unwilling to change it should stop complaining
• People who tell you they are happy just the way things are and then are constantly depressed about how things are just conning themselves
• Who you think you are or can be is the limit to who you will become. If you think you are beaten you are, if you think you can’t you’re right.
• Fear of Failure or ridicule keeps more people from trying than incompetence.
• Self Image when enhanced will cause the reality around you to rise to that new level.
• Trying and failing and trying and failing is how things get done.
• Your potential is not limited by your circumstances. Only what you believe about yourself.
• A positive outlook coupled with action is a force multiplier. Colin Powell said that and it’s absolutely true.
• We make the decisions about our future with every action we take. Repetitive action will create a repetitive future. Stuck in the Rut so to speak.
• It takes a firm mindset to reject the influences and limitations others put upon you. You must become your own best counsel. The past is gone. The lies and putdowns which put you in this box will keep you there until you bury them.
• Other people’s encouragement and belief in you to go higher is a gift they give. But it has to be unwrapped before you benefit from it. Then become a regifter.

It’s never too late to rise up. I remember a woman who took our class less than 10 years from her dying day; who’s last years were double the joy because she began to believe in herself. The last 8 of her 75 years on the earth were her best.

I will never forget a young man from Valley City who worked in a grain elevator and suffered from a debilitating disease who was in our class. He became manager and rose to great heights in industry.

There were times I really had to try to see good in what others were doing. I worked at being encouraging. I involved myself in their quest. It nearly always paid off. Those people were ready to move up. There were some that resented it.They had made the decision that there was nothing anyone could offer that would help. They had tried it all before. Nothing would work out. They were right.

I have worked with people coming out of prison. I am doing so now. Helping them release the past and move forward is a real challenge. Some make it, some don'’t. It’s a tough sled. It’s all about believing.

A bigger prison is self-doubt, fear, routine and the lack of a big dream that drives you on. I have known a few people who were carrying in their person true greatness. A potential gift to all of humanity. Who have nothing short of their own self-degradation that holds them back. Who will die with their unrealized potential buried with them.

I have also known people like John Redlin who had NOTHING going for him health wise but who believed he could make a difference. Even when they cut both his legs off he fought for a chance to matter to the world. He did. He taught in the public school, was in politics, a firefighter, and hundreds of other things. He mattered to those who knew and loved him. Gone too soon, he left much of his potential behind for those of us who survive to enjoy and remember.

Be like that. Matter, reach, believe in yourself. Try fail try fail try fail and eventually you will soar. That’s how you learned to walk and then run.

Am I talking to you?

YES!