Monday, September 07, 2015

Never Releasing Kills

Parents of Adult Children can be of huge disservice to them and end up killing them

  • Not Releasing them
  • Over Protecting them
  • Not allowing them huge mistakes
  • By enabling bad behaviors (SLOTH, Gluttony etc)
  • Covering and shielding from bad outcomes
  • Allowing them to stay at home beyond what should be normative (23-25)
  • Offering Advice when Not Asked For

Your job as a parent is to raise your kids the best you know how and then get out of the way. Let them stumble, fall, skin their knee, fail, get to the end of themselves. Stay out of their lives. Don't enable them. If they get into trouble, let them figure it out.

There are too many 40 somethings living at home not paying rent doing nothing but play video games all day or watch TV because dad and mom worry they wouldn't make it "out there". I have been a gardener most of my life and I know a nurtured fed and hothouse plant will die a quick death when taken into the real world under the sun and heat. Yet if that plant is allowed to undergo drought, cold, sun and moved carefully in a few months it can stand with it's fellow plants to endure the tough times.

I asked Parents recently who had a 40 something living rent free, not even contributing to the household expenses, "What is going to happen when you die?". They are much older than average. They won't be around long. Answer?? "I guess he will have to get a job and find a place to live". Then I said, "you are both gonna be dead in ten years.. and he will be on the streets worthless at 55 years old. You are a curse on his life". He will starve in the streets or be killed.

Parents, do you love your adult children enough to allow them to become adults??

No comments: