Wednesday, April 19, 2006

$29 Minimum Wage Solves Everything

I am sympathetic to poor people having to pay these $3 per gallon gasoline prices. I also want to do something to preserve the Republican party's majority in America.

It is a proven fact that people earning $60,000 per year or more have no discernable impact in their standard of living from gasoline, even if it went to $4 per gallon.

It is also true according to statistical analysis that people earning $60,000 per year or more vote overwhelmingly republican (unless they marry or inherit the money like John Kerry or Ted Kennedy). Or are high earning idiot celebrities who stumble upon money mindlessly like Cher and other Hollywood types.

Average Joe Pinot Noir (He’s now better than Joe 6 pack) won’t be as stupid as those people.

So, if we just raise the minimum wage to $29 per hour we will in one fell swoop eliminate the impact high oil and gas prices has on working people and we insure that the Republicans will win elections from that day forward.

I know there will be naysayers. I can hear them now. Oh, I know it might increase unemployment a bit. The underground economy and illegal aliens would flourish. That this kind of move would likely destroy small business in America. That this would be highly inflationary as the Wal-Marts of the world would have to pay a “Living Wage” and therefore raise prices. That this is economically a stupid move.

Maybe that’s the point with all minimum wage discussions.

Stupid Move!

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