Save Fuel and Money – Fly Standing, Naked or Containerized

Airbus is pitching this. Fly standing up. For real.

To get more people on the plane and so the tickets are much less money if you fly certain airlines in the future you will be offered a cheaper ticket if you fly standing.

I like to take things to logical extremes. Already I have to remove my belt and take off my shoes. I’m no nudist and if you saw me you’d understand why. But think about it, TSA could get you right thru if everyone flew nude. And think of the money you’d save. How elegantly efficient.

Maybe even better is you could fly as baggage. They put you in a box (looks like a coffin), give you a knockout drug to last about as long as your flight plus ons and offs. Then they could stack you on a pallet and you fly parcel post to your destination. This would be particularly effective on very long overseas flights. You’d have to wear adult pampers of course. But think how cost effective it would be. If they made the container large enough you could have your luggage fly with you. You would be run thru the scanner for bombs right at the check in. No TSA groping (non you would be aware of anyhow).

Or, maybe you could fly racked up. I figure if everyone lay down on a rack separated by perhaps 2 feet like in a submarine bunk area you could triple or quadruple stack folks right to the ceiling of the airliner. Really getting efficient aren’t we. Why think of the possibilities. Think of the money you’d save. Think of it.

Or don’t. This isn’t going anywhere. At least not me.