To Jack - Try Marriage

I like weddings. I don’t know about all the bride magazines the size of an encyclopedia. There must be a lot of money in weddings and all the fru fru that surrounds them. Sometimes it seems like the more elaborate a wedding is the less likely the marriage will succeed. And many marriages don’t. Some end in divorce. Some continue but are a mess.

This most anticipated day is often disappointing for the people involved because they had such high expectations. And then it didn’t come off just as they had planned. That is the problem.

I think a lot of wedding stuff is foolish. Weddings should be meaningful and worthwhile.

I love some of the ancient wedding rituals from the Semitic people. They can be deep and rich. The man proposes marriage. The woman accepts. The betrothed husband then waits some period of time and develops relationship. Then he goes and prepares the home they will share for her. This involves cleaning and fix up. It’s ready.

The attendants to the wedding know about when the husband to be is to come back. They wait, when the husband to be is near they have a procession. Often it is a lighted procession in the evening. That leads to a wedding feast. No one has to put on a fancy suit, none of the women have to run out to TJ Max and buy a fancy dress and some strappy shoes. When you arrive at the wedding, the father of the bride furnishes you a fancy white robe to wear. Everyone gets one. It’s free. You get to keep it. Only the bride and the bridegroom are dressed extravagantly.

Then the ceremony starts. During it the bridegroom places a glass of wine on the table before the bride after he has taken a drink from it. She then has a choice, she can get up and walk away, no harm no foul, or she can drink from the cup and say, I choose you. If she drinks it is an “I DO”.

Then they take this wineglass, wrap it in a towel, and crush it. That is the last time I will drink of this as a single person. I will not drink anything again until we are married.

Then after a brief time the marriage is complete the wedding feast, dance, banquet, begins. Not fancy, but elegant and profound.

Well, that’s exactly what has happened to the religion of Christianity. Lots of fru fru and big books with lots of you shoulds in them. Expectations. Disappointments. Anticipations. Let downs. It’s become about the ceremonies and the window dressings and not about the functional results. Too much human planning and design.

The value of the life is lost in the noise and bustle of Religion.

Real worthwhile Christianity is like the ancient weddings. Jesus comes and proposes. We can accept or reject. We can remain single. It will mean we stay where we are in our stuckness. There is more to life than what you are living, he offers. He says come away with me. Get to know me better and you will know I will never harm or hurt you and only do you good.

There was a time he was with us so we could get to know him better as a bride. There are 4 gospels that give us pictures of what he is like. Then he says he must go prepare a place for us. We prepare ourselves. Here’s where it gets interesting. We are not only the Bride, but we are the attendants to everyone else that is a bride (fellow Christians). So we are at the same time a Bride and a friend of the Bridegroom. We watch and wait for the Bridegroom to appear. When we became the bride we drank and drink from the same cup he drank from. We crushed it under our feet. He will not drink from it again until he does so at the wedding feast.

What’s really amazing is we don’t have to try to be better or worse. We can be the worst kind of people or having been the best and we will all get that same white robe. With that white robe we look like everyone else. No one is better or worse. The only way we can get into trouble is if we refuse to wear the white robe and show up expecting to be served. The white robe is your ticket in. Of course knowing this, there is an impetus to wash your face and comb your hair. You don’t have to but you want to.

On Sundays (for many people) and on several other days for some, there is a precursor wedding dance, party, feast. IF they are the right spirit they should be fun, exciting, and meaningful. Maybe one of the guests will stand up and make a toast (sermon) to the Bride and Bridegroom. But the party is the big thing. Celebrate.

I know this is kind of cryptic but it’s all in the Bible. Matthew 22 and Mathew 25 and Revelation 19.

I you like weddings and if you particularly like the wedding dances, if you find the right ones you can have a blast. You will look forward to the next one. That’s how Church and vibrant Christianity is for many people. I’m in that number. I’m sorry you have had some bad wedding experiences, I know not every marriage works out. That doesn’t mean you should give up on marriage. There is more, and it’s an exciting life.

I feel very sorry for whoever wrote that in Utah.

It’s like someone in a bad marriage and is down on marriage, or someone who is single and can't see why anyone would want to be married. You feel sorry for them. And you have Loretta. And you know how wonderful it can be. And you wish you could convince everyone on the great benefits of married life. And that, my friend would make you an evangelist.

That’s really how simple it is.

Try it again, find a better wedding dance.