Friday, May 12, 2006

Eterrnal Student - There but for the Grace of God Go I

I loved College. The 60's. Fun. Even some education. If I could have afforded the vilification, damage to my liver and money for tuition I would have stayed. But I didn't. I went on, got married and made a life. I was a piker next to Johnny Lechner. I didn't make the grade as an eternal student.

This guy did. He has been in college 12 years now. Wants to make it 13. His picture is there. He's a nice looking fellow of 29. I think he needs a wife. He's quite a guy. Even has a blog of his slackdom. He writes in February how he dropped his cell phone in the toilet after a night of partying and then had to dry it out in the food dryer.

"I'm suppose to be, like, Johnny College, and I haven't studied abroad," he said.

The epiphany sent Lechner into such a tailspin that Monday he called the registrar's office and backed out of graduation. He now says he will return to UW-Whitewater for an unprecedented 13th year as an undergraduate, spending about one third of it abroad.

Lechner has completed 265 college credits, about 130 more than needed to graduate. He pays double tuition - the so-called "slacker tax" - for lingering far beyond the requirements of any degree program. Had he graduated Saturday, he would have earned a liberal studies degree in education, communications, theater, health and women's studies.

It all sounds fun except when at my age you come to realize he just invested half his life in wine women song and Budweiser. That's an investment I'm wondering about. Wondering. Still wondering. 40 years ago my refrain would have been:

"Hey Johnny, Where's the Party?"

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