Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Why Students from North and South Dakota do better

Statistically academic achievement is much higher among Dakota students than among school age children resident in Chicago, Detroit, St. Louis or New York City.

There has been huge money spent to rectify this ill. The cost to educate the students is half in the Dakotas from what it is in major metropolitan areas.

There must be a logical explanation. I am the master of conspiracy theories. Therefore I believe I have figured it out.

Comtrails – Chemtrails.

You know what they are. They are the streaks that populate the sky during the day leaving a footprint of where airliners have flown. They have been blamed for pollution, changing the weather patterns and littering the formerly clear blue skies. They have been given credit for holding off global warming.

But the real conspiracy is that these chemtrails are filled with mind altering drugs. I heard this precise allegation on an overnight talk show, Coast to Coast. So it must be true. Our kids breath the air salted with these chemical cocktails and it suppresses the ability of the mind to learn. There is more air traffic in the major cities mentioned above therefore more of the evil mind numbing chemicals in the air. The Dakotas have far less air traffic ergo far fewer comtrails. The mind numbing is going on and kids are still dumbed down but to a far lesser degree.

You know it’s not as good as when we were kids. It must be the chemtrails. Otherwise we would have to point the finger at a failing public school system, teachers and administrators who only care about themselves and their pocketbook over the children’s education. That’ll never do.

So, it has to be the Chemtrails - Comtrails. Right?

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