Crippled and Tormented by a Lack of Faith

I have a friend who I have known for many years. He's a good man in a secular sense. Takes care of his kids. Works hard. Is honest.

BUT, he is a serious skeptic about the things of God. He has often ridiculed my faith and love for God. He certainly makes light of my Pentecostal roots. Snake Handling comes up often.

He has just been struck with a debilitating disease. He asked me (in jest) if he would be healed if I laid hands on him. I said yes. He would be.

Then, he had to thrown in a jab that tells me he is just hedging his bets. Unbelief.

I didn't lay hands, I didn't pray, I didn't believe for him for healing. IF Father healed him it would be in response to MY faith and in spite of his unbelief.

So, i did not. I frankly feel a little guilty. I'm confident he would be made whole. But he is crippled. He can't work. He is going to suffer greatly. I have compassion, but I am like Jesus in this, Not many works because of his unbelief.

NOW, if he was serious, if he was fully in the hem of the Garment touching phase or if he came to me in faith at any level I would respond and seek God for him. I am confident he would be healed.

He isn't and I won't. I frankly feel a little guilty about all this. I shouldn't but I do.

I don't want to withhold the Gift of God that he may allow me to impart, but I also don't belive it honors Father to throw pearls before swine.

Perhaps this disease will not lead to death but to his repentance.

I WILL pray for that. I WILL pray God will use this to bring him to Himself.

That would be the beginning of a healing he desperately needs. He is in constant pain without hope.

Faithlessness is crippling and torment on this side of the veil and on the other.