Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Handy Reference Guide to Obama’s Gaffes and Goofs

1. “The Bomb” that fell on Pearl Harbor
2. “The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries.”
3. 10,000 People (A Whole Town!) Died in Kansas ~ Oops..., Overstated by 9,988
4. Admits His Plan would Necessarily Cause Energy Prices to Skyrocket
5. Air Raiding Villages a la Yankee Air Pirates: Destroys Whole Afghan Villages!
6. Another Senior Moment
7. ATMs Cause Unemployment
8. Blames Hugo Chavez’s Election on (ta da) BUSH! Oops.
9. Blows off the Salute To Heroes (MOH) Inaugural Ball
10. Botched Toast ~ Babbles over “God Save The Queen”
11. Bowls like a Special Olympian
12. Bows to the Chicom President
13. Bows to the Emperor of Japan
14. Bows to the Mayor of Tampa
15. Bows to the Saudi King
16. Burns up 9,000 gallons of Jet Fuel on Earth Day
17. Can’t Keep MOH Recipients Straight
18. Can’t Remember His Own Wife’s Name
19. Celebrates the Fifth of the Fourth
20. Claims to be the only President in History to Try to Eliminate Unnecessary Regulations
21. Confuses “his” Christianity for “his Muslim faith”
22. Congratulates the FBI’s First Hundred Days
23. Constitutional Principles on Judiciary Written 20 Centuries Ago
24. Cops Acted Stupidly (@ 1:30)
25. Date Nights at a Quarter of a Million a Pop
26. Did He REALLY just call Palin a “Pig”??????
27. Disrespects the Flag and the National Anthem
28. Dr. Obama on the Causes of Autism
29. Doesn’t Know How Old His Daughter Is
30. Doesn’t Know the Difference Between Great Britain and England
31. Exaggerates about Military Small Unit Methods, Weapons, and Tactics in Afghanistan
32. Expects to be President for “Eight to Ten Years”
33. Faux White Sox Fan Can’t Name Favorite Players, Loves “Cominskey” Park
34. Flippantly Answers the “When Does Life Begin” Question ~ Above His Pay Grade
35. Flips Off Her Royal Clinton
36. Flips Off John McCain
37. Flubs Town Hall Hosts’ Name
38. Forgot to Duck ~ Too Busy Waving
39. Geographic Genius, NOT! Hawaii is Now In Asia. (note WH transcript from Hawaii, Obama thinks he’s “here in Asia”) para 13 from bottom
40. Geographic Genius, NOT! Redux. Kansas isn’t Texas, Barry.
41. Get Yer Keys On!
42. Gins up the Reason for his Birth In Selma (Bonus…Jive Accent)
43. Gives a Shout out to MOH who Isn’t
44. Gives the Queen an iPod
45. Gives Thoughtless Gifts to Brit PM Brown and his Children
46. Had an Imaginary Assignment to the Senate Banking Committee
47. Had an Uncle who Liberated Auschwitz
48. Har, Har, Har, $800 BN Wasn’t As Shovel Ready as We Thought ~ Hilarious!!!!!
49. Has Visited 57 States
50. Harvard Degree ~ Mechanical Engineering? No, Definitely NOT!
51. Hates Old People
52. How to Keep All Those Wars Straight?
53. Identifies a Whole New State (Eau Claire)
54. If I Can’t Dazzle Them With Brilliance, I’ll Baffle ‘em With BS
55. If Asking A Billionaire to Pay the Same Tax Rate as a Jew ~ Anti Semitic? (Shrink friend calls it the Amytal Interview)
56. (a) through (m) I’m Just Freakin’ Perfect Every Day, In Every Way. If You Don’t Believe it, ASK ME!!!!
57. Inappropriate “Shout-Out” Before Addressing Fort Hood Shooting (linked video removed but another is HERE).
58. Inhaled Frequently. That was the Point.
59. Insults French President Sarkozy ~ “Hope Your New Kid Isn’t Ugly Like You”
60. Israel is a Strong Friend of Israel’s ~ Whilst being Perfectly Clear
61. Makes a Nasty Joke about Nancy Reagan and Seances
62. Medical Genius (Off Prompter)
63. Mistakes a Window for a Door
64. Mocks Joe the Plumber
65. Navy Corpse Man
66. Oaf of Office
67. Ogles La Derriere Like a Frenchman
68. Oh Wait…Robots Create Jobs with Unions (@ 1:35)
69. Omits God from Thanksgiving Day Address (Lucky Lady Apparently Blesses The Won’s House)
70. Panders to Hispanics…Rewrites History Again
71. Pesky Infrastructure Terms Like “Intercontinental” Trip Him Up
72. Pitches Like a Girl Whilst Wearing Mom Jeans….Wheeeee!!!!!
73. Proclaims Himself Commander AND Chief
74. Promotes Canada’s Prime Minister to a President
75. Refused to Visit the Troops Because No Media Was Allowed
76. Reporters with Foreign Policy Questions are SOOO Annoying!
77. Scares the Crap out of New Yorkers
78. Scares a Marine Guard by Shaking His Hand
79. Screw Our Allies ~ I’m going with Hugo and Ortega on This One
80. Seeks Greater Inefficiencies in the Health Care System via Obamacare
81. Sees Dead People
82. Shankopotomus (watch the Crackberry go flying)
83. Signs the Wrong Year in Guest Book at Westminster Abbey
84. Snubs Brits by Returning the Bust of Winston Churchill
85. Someone Waging a KMA can’t Spell “Libya” (h/t our own Warner Todd Houston)
86. Staff Incompetence ~ Obama’s Limo Gets Stuck
87. Staff Incompetence Part Deux ~ Obama’s Ignorance of Geography is Apparently Virulent
88. The Time has Changed for Come
89. Thinks “Victory” is a 4 Letter Word
90. Thinks Austrian is a Language
91. Thinks Europe is a Country
92. Throws Out the Honored Guest with the Trash
93. Two Words to Define Campain 2012? ~ “Our Vision For The Future. That’s three words. Four.” (last 2 paras).
94. Wants to Halt the Rise of Privacy
95. Waves Like Alfred E. Neuman (h/t El Rushbo)
96. Waves Again ~ Speak to the Hand Part Deux
97. Waves Yet AGAIN ~ Speak to the Hand Part Trois
98. We are the Ones We’ve Been Waiting For
99. We Can’t Balance The Budget…w/o Tax Increases ~ Um, Bernanke Disagrees
100. “We never need an excuse for a good party.” ~ Now Let’s Fire this Baby Up! (Obama Prematurely Celebrates Hanukkha)
101. When in Ireland, Do as the Irish Do….NO WAIT….BYOB (non-alcoholic)
102. Will Halt The Rise of the Oceans
103. Wouldn’t “Punish” His Daughters with a Baby AND Equates Pregnancy to an STD
104. WTF of the Day
105. You Might be a Filthy Rich Cretin If….Oh Never Mind, the Math Doesn’t Really Work

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