Useless News Links

That's Reassuring
"I always tell Malia and Sasha, look, you guys, I don't worry about you. . . . They're on a path that is going to be successful, even if the country as a whole is not successful."--Barack Obama to New York supporters, Nov. 30

Out on a Limb
"Dominique Strauss-Kahn: 'Uninhibited Sex Life' Ruined My Career"--headline, Daily Telegraph (London), Dec. 1

Who Says Obama Isn't Tough on Terror?

• "The Emerging 'Strong Horse' of the Islamic World"--headline, WND.com, June 11
• "Obama, Congress Restore Horse-Slaughter Industry"--headline, Washington Times, Dec. 1

So Much for the War on Drugs
"Obama: 'Massive Blow' if GOP Blocks Payroll Tax"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 30

Left in the Lurch
"No Kerry Success at Munster Class 4 Inter-County Badminton Series"--headline, Kerryman (Ireland), Nov. 30

Where's Mrs. Obama When You Need Her?
"Like Rest of Nation, Mass. Residents Not Moving"--headline, Patriot Ledger (Quincy, Mass.), Nov. 30

2nd Prize is 4 Obamas
"Michelle Added to Obama Dinner Raffle"--headline, WhiteHouseDossier.com, Nov. 30

Dept. of Low Expectations
"Milwaukee's Economic Recovery Outpacing Chicago's"--headline, Marquette Tribune (student newspaper), Dec. 1

QE3 Is Under Way
"Bank Courier Van Spills Money on Roadway in Upper St. Clair"--headline, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Nov. 30

Generalissimo Francisco Franco Is Still Dead
"America Is Still a Giant Oil importer"--headline, Slate.com, Nov. 30

We'll Pass, but Really, Thanks for Offering
"Vomit in FAMU Student's Mouth Before He Dies"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 1

At That Age, It's Amazing He Can Remember Anything
"Witness Turns '180,' Vindicates Wash. Cop"--headline, PoliceOne.com, Dec. 1

Questions Nobody Is Asking

• "Can You Spot the Difference? Surgeons Replace Dad's Severed Thumb With BIG TOE After He Sawed It Off in DIY Accident"--headline, Daily Mail (London), Dec. 1
• "Truth or Dare: Would Black America Support President Obama If He Were Atheist?"--headline, Puffington Host, Nov. 30

Answers to Questions Nobody Is Asking

• "Supercommittee Failure Shame? Not for Its Members"--headline, Politico.com, Dec. 1
• "Why Rick Santorum Hasn't Had His Moment in the Primary Sun"--headline, DailyCaller.com, Nov. 30
• "Is This the World's First Space Beer? No."--headline, Discovery.com, Nov. 30

Too Much Information
"College Men's Basketball: Purdue Leans on Johnsons"--headline, South Bend (Ind.) Tribune, Nov. 30

News of the Tautological
"Poll: Money Is the Best Employee Incentive"--headline, Ragan.com, Dec. 1

News You Can Use
"Now Might Not Be the Best Time to Hire Pakistani Mercs"--headline, Wired.com, Nov. 30

Bottom Stories of the Day

• "Expert: Mexico Glyphs Don't Predict Apocalypse"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 30
• "France Honors Lenny Kravitz With Highest Award"--headline, Associated Press, Nov. 30