There is no one coming on a white horse to rescue you.

This is not a theological statement... although it could be.  This is a comment about politics and relationships.

Politically, if you believe that there is some person who is coming to become Regan reincarnated and lead us all to victory... they ain't coming.  Those of us who want our country back from the socialists will have to do it one voter at a time. It's hard work.  There is no other way.

The same thing is true of single women over 30.  I meet and know far too many who are lovely, shy, want to meet someone and are giving up because the guy on the white horse who is coming to sweep them off their feet hasn't shown up.  Here's a tip, He's not coming.  Worse, we all think meeting someone is an app.  (Unmarried?  There's an app for that)    So we look at Christian Mingle, It's just lunch, Match.com and E-Harmony as a cyber way to meet the white horse guy.  Worse, the experience is brutal.  If you don't looks and body of Gisele Bündchen you are out of luck.  The guys on the "APPS" have the emotional depth of a thimble and are looking for a virginal 30 something supermodel who somehow missed out.  Got kids?  Overweight?  Been married before?  Not really what they are looking for. 

Most unmarried men in their 30s and 40s aren't on the "Apps".  A few, and there are successful marriages made in Appville that happen.  Fewer than the activity level would first define.  The percentages are really against the single woman.

At the same time I know personally a half dozen men who are in that age bracket, never married, straight, good jobs (some very good jobs), decent, christian, not drinkers, smokers or nasty in any way.  Good clean men who's only defect is (you knew there was one) is.... wait for it.. they don't know how to ride a white horse and have become content not wanting to.

Sure they would love to meet someone but are short in whatever social skill it takes to get there.  You are walking right by them in the mall.  In the church. In the workplace.  On the street.  In your car.  They aren't very cool.  They aren't charming.  They don't act like those men in the fantasy TV shows or the books with literalistic soft porn women seem to enjoy reading in books and magazines.

I will give you 3 real life examples from this week.  None of these guys are on the APPS.

Man lives in MN. 45.  Tech guy.  Loving.  Caring.  Never married. Lives alone. Has friends. Owns his own place.  Financially stable.  Not bad looking.  Maybe a little short for his weight (yes women can be shallow too) and would like to meet someone..but lacks the social skill to make it happen.  IF you want to meet him with the potential of a future together you will have to pursue him.  Call him.  Make arrangements to get together with a group.  Charm him.  Tell him how decent and nice he is.  Look in his eyes.  Touch him.  Help him fall in love with you.  Wait you say...that's his job.  I want all that.   OK. Stay single.  His horse is dead no matter the color.  Some smart cookie somewhere is going to snag him sooner or later.  It could be you and I promise you, you wouldn't be sorry.  NO I won't hook you up because this guy is on your block no matter where you live.  Open your eyes and start seeing single guys.  Then become the pursuer, life changes after 30.

Man Lives in OK. 41.  Financial guy.  Eccentric.  Caring.  Able.  Handy.  Trim. Never Married.  Lives alone.  Rents.   Money in the bank.  Frugal.  Handsome in his own way.  Shaves head because some areas are self shaving. Not a big time Jesus guy but has been there.   Open.  Has always wanted to meet someone but no longer will invest in the chase.  It's not arrogance, he was rejected badly once and won't take the chance.  He would be a great catch... but he's not coming for you.  IF someone would just invest time and energy in getting to know him... it would be a lay up for her.  BUT they are all waiting for the guy with an Albino Equestrian habit.

Man lives in ND.  38.  Farmer.  Big Farmer.  More country than most. A few bad habits... but not terrible.  Sometimes thinks he has to meet a mold to meet a woman but the women he meets are not what he wants to meet because they are attracted to the mold he tries to put on.  So he goes to the local small town bar and after one beer leaves to go to his place with his dog.  Alone.  He wants the life he sees his mom and dad have.  Goes to his Lutheran church on Sunday.  Not deep. Never married.  He does his farming thing.  Buys a new pickup truck and wonders why there is no one "Decent" around.  He would like to be married.  But he's shy and very cautious.  Has seen too many of his friends who married and ten years later the wife got itchy feet, raising cattle isn't her idea of what life would be like and she ends up taking him for millions in the divorce.  He risk losing half the farm.  You could meet him and if you didn't play the game he thinks you have to play you will win him.  Trust is his love language.  He farms because he loves it.  He has love to give.. but he needs to know you very very well before he agrees to marry you.

I will say that the most successful marriages I know of men over 30 was where the woman was forward, not pushy, just really there...present.  And then let him know it was time to be married.

I know this isn't great news, but it's the truth.  You will need to become the hunter and that's going to be a role you didn't ever think you would take... or stay single.  By the way, ALL of these case studies are relatives of mine....

Sometimes I'm convinced that the whole idea of an arranged marriage makes more sense than the hodge podge we have now.  Go to a trusted older wise third party and have them present you with your future mate.  Someone who really has your best interests at heart.  Here's the trick, arranged means you don't get to choose.  That romance thing is out...for a while until you create it for yourselves.

That's how it's done in many cultures and it works very well.  It did for my great grandparents.  And they loved each other with successful marriages after the fact.

What I am suggesting is just like this. Marriage is easy if you just don't require romance right away...