Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Ahab was Jezebel's Husband, and was the Classic Passive Agressive.. there can be no Jezebel if there no enabling Ahab


Passive versus Aggressive character traits

Over-merciful
versus
over-legalistic
Passive people like Ahab tend to be overmerciful, seeing the best in every person and overlooking too much. They forgive others too quickly (not making them aware of their offense) and also forgive people who have not asked for forgiveness and are not even remorseful. This almost certainly guarantees the abuser's continued behavior. Aggressive people like Jezebel are on the other extreme — harsh in their expectations and unforgiving when people do not meet their unrealistic expectations.
 
Walking away from a person
versus
walking over a person
People with passive Ahab personalities quickly give away their power and walk away in order to avoid conflict. They find it easier to push their feelings inside. On the other hand, people with aggressive personalities seem to have no concern or conscience about whom they step on and use, as long as they get their way.
 
Avoiding confrontation
versus
in-your-face confrontation
Passive people avoid confrontation at all costs and will even blame themselves when others insult or betray them. However, aggressive people have no problem handing out insults and pushing blame on whomever they happen to choose. They have no regard for others' feelings, and will more or less tell you this.
 
Peacekeepers
versus
peacemakers
Passive personalities are notorious for being peacekeepers. They want the temporary, immediate gratification of keeping the peace at any price rather than "making peace" by boldly dealing with the issues at hand, which would result in more permanent, long-term gratification.
 
Grumbling under one's breath
versus
open verbal abuse
People with passive personalities will resent verbal assaults, but they will refuse to take the offender to task and stop the behavior. Instead, they usually walk away grumbling. Aggressive people feel free to openly vent, abuse others and tell them off. Just minutes later, they will act as if nothing happened, even though they have left resentful people with wounded hearts in their wake. Jezebel personalities are so self-centered that they do not even realize they have severely damaged the people who happened to be in their destructive path, and Ahab personalities leave others feeling responsible for them as victims.
 
Do not mind being wrong (if you'll approve of me)
versus
refusing ever to be wrong (I'll love you if you see things my way)
Passive people often have such a need for approval that they will take the blame for anything if they perceive it as winning them your acceptance. Aggressive people will love you until you disagree with them! Then that love becomes a destructive hatred for you, and they will even go to the point of trying to destroy you and your reputation.
 
Fear of nonacceptance
versus
fear of rejection
While passive people will do almost anything to gain acceptance, aggressive people (who are always insecure and often wounded people) have a huge fear of rejection. Their actions come out of an "attack mode" because they are determined never to experience rejection again.
 
Low self-esteem (clothed in nice)
versus
low self-esteem (clothed in fear of more hurt)
Passive people are usually nice people — too nice. They have low self-worth and try to gain ground by winning acceptance. Aggressive people also have low self-esteem, but usually they are bold, arrogant and pushy — all in an effort (because of old wounds) to avoid more hurt.

No comments: