After state governments across the country directed their citizens to
shut down their businesses and just kinda hope things worked out, a new
order has been issued: everyone is to jump off a bridge immediately.
A government official issued the order to solve our current crisis, and everyone immediately complied.
"Everyone jump off a bridge," said a representative of the government.
"OK,"
said everyone. "If the government says so, it's probably a good idea.
Besides, what can we do? It's the government. They definitely have the
best people working on it."
The directive was designed to end
coronavirus. Medical experts believe it's the best, most effective way
to stop the virus. Assuming everyone follows through and obeys the
order, coronavirus will be wiped out, according to officials. There are
no bad side effects, as far as anyone can tell. A few people pointed out
that jumping off a bridge could kill everyone, but these people are anti-science and
obviously hate their neighbors.
I didn't want to post the whole blog. But it's so good and the picture.... You NEED to read the Babylon Bee every day. It is the only real news out there.
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