Thursday, March 15, 2007

Unilateral Friendship

I have lots of acquaintances, many people I know pretty well, and a few friends. Friendship is a two way street. If you want to have friends you've got to be a friend. This isn't news to most of you but I have learned to tell the difference.

One friend catagorey I need less of is those who are my friend only when it is:
  • Convenient
  • Useful
  • Beneficial
I have lots of those kind of "would be" friends. I weed them out pretty quickly. Oh, I let them pretend we are close buddies. I let them think that we have something between us. But they couldn't care less about me and if I currently carry no direct benefit for them they avoid me or keep their distance. I'm not hurt, just wary.

These Faux Friends are absent -
UNTIL THEY NEED SOMETHING. Then it's Hey Gene ol Buddy ol Pal.

The best friends I have are those from whom I expect nothing and from me they expect less. Friendship like love is not a give and take 50-50 relationship.
It is a mutual exchange of life and loves. In a way I give without expecting anything in return and you do the same. We don't keep score.

I have one friend with whom I disagree on almost everything. Politically, Spiritually, and who knows what else. Yet, she is my friend and knows she could depend on me and vice versa. Our mutual opposing views on much of life are not a barrier.

I have other people with whom I am in complete harmony politically and spiritually and yet I could not depend on them to "Be There" for me if it got tough.

What's interesting is saying this is very safe. Only my friends for the most part read this blog. My "So Called" "I'll get hold of you when I need you" friends never darken the doorstep of this missive.

They are too self absorbed in the business of their own lives and too convinced that they are the center of the universe to give the posterior of a rat about me or mine.
That's OK. I have people who I care for and who I know care for me. That matters more than anything. True Loyal Friends.

Fair weathered friends are disposable.

I was going to say replaceable, but why would anyone want to replace that?

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