Q: How many Obama voters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Hoping that it would change is quite enough.
Q: How many autoworkers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 17 at GM, Ford and Chrysler; 1 at Honda, Hyundai and Toyota.
Q: How many Chicago Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Bleep you, what am I gettin’ outta this?
Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It's burnt out on the Republican side, so we're not changing it.
Q: How many MSM journalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: No need, Obama is the Light.
Q: How many Congresspersons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, but they'll allocate a few billion to achieve change under the Obama Stimulus Bill.
Q: How many Daily Kos bloggers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It was Bush's fault the bulb burned out; it'll get fixed by itself when he leaves office.
Q: How many Minnesota Canvassing Board members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends. They'll only change it if it looks like a vote for Coleman.
Q: How many Oprah Winfrey fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The bulb's not so light these days.
Q: How many Cubans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: There have been no lightbulbs since the USSR collapsed.
Q: How many North Koreans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: What's a lightbulb?
Q: How many Hollywood celebrities does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Six to make movies about evil lightbulb companies, twelve to lecture about the unequal distribution of light on late night talk shows and nine to get caught with drugs hidden in cartons of lightbulbs.
Q: How many Obama appointees does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: His team is currently in the process of finding someone from the Clinton Administration who knows how.
Q: How many Caroline Kennedys does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: She's never thought about it but now that you mention it, she'd love for someone to change it for her. You know...
Q: How many President Obamas does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The bulb is a lot more burnt out than we thought. Clearly, the bulb has deteriorated. It might not be changed as quickly as we would like.
Why change the light bulbs? The burnt out ones will work as well as new ones do when Comrade Gore shuts down the evil fossil fuel greenhouse gassing and nuclear glow-in-the-dark mutation making power plants.
Q: How many Kennedys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to drink until the room spins around.
Q: How does Bono change a light bulb?
A: He just holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
Q: How many union electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five... you gotta problem with that, buddy?
Q: How many gun control advocates does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they just pass a law against burnt out bulbs and then walk away wondering how come its still dark.
Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.
Q: How many President Elect Obamas does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None...it’s above his pay grade.
Q: How many people does it take to help Barney Frank put up a light bulb?
A: He can do it all by himself, but it takes an entire emergency room to remove it.
Q: How many progressives does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One: When he/she/it realizes that the bulb not working the light coming on over his/her/its head will be more than sufficient to illuminate the room.
Q: How many progressives does it to take to change a lightbulb?
A: Why would you change it when you can ban it?
Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a progressive?
A: None. Some things will never see the light no matter how brightly it shines.
Q: How many Caroline Kennedys does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: She’s never, you know, thought about it but, you know, now that you, you know, mention it, you know, she’d love for someone to, you know, change it for her, you know.
Q: How many Obama voters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Excuse me. Light bulbs are just another part of the soulless industrial society we should be moving away from in our mission to save Mother earth from warming. Obama's brother doesn't need no stinking light bulb and neither should we.
Q: How many surrealist painters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Fish.
Q: How many (NY guv) Pattersons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but there's 4 bulbs in the pack and he hasn't decided which one to pick....
Q: How many Leon Panettas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Oh, crap, ANOTHER job he's not qualified for!
Q: How many Al Gores does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, and it means another Oscar and Nobel Prize on the horizon for him.
Q: How many greedy, corrupt capitalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two; one to mix a martini, and one to call the electrician.
Q: How many Union electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 17: 4 to form a committee to ensure all OSHA standards have been met at the site of the bulb to be changed; 1 to bring the ladder; 3 to say they have no part of their job descriptions that allow them to climb ladders; 2 to sleep on the job; 3 to not show up at all; 2 to remind everyone that it's Bush's fault that the light bulb isn't working in the first place; 1 to change the lightbulb; and 1 to share a martini with the greedy, corrupt capitalists.
Q: How many progressives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A couple to observe that the bulb needs changing. A handful to organize a committee on light bulbs. Add a dozen to work on a case study on light bulbs. Throw in another score to form an over watch committee to make sure the case study is following proper guidelines and procedures. Then add a pinch of lawyers to handle the ubiquitous legal matters, and about ten lobbyists to bilk Congress for funding to pay for it all. Then wait 4 years and watch the whole thing get scrapped by the new administration.
Q: How many Caroline Kennedys does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: She’s never, you know, thought about it but, you know, now that you, you know, mention it, you know, she’d love for someone to, you know, change it for her, you know.
Q. How many Kal-Lee_Forn-yons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. 5. One to change the bulb and 4 to "share the experience."
How many Radical Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
How many members of Hamas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
How many ACLU lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
How many Community Organizers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
How many SAG members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
How many politicized musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
How many Liberal left-leaning guilt-ridden self-hating Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
How many Mimes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
How many PETA member does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
How many ambassadors to the United Nations from Muslim countries does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, BUT IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
Q: How many global warmists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Energy inefficient filament bulbs are a carbon-spewing crime against Mother Gaia. We must only use mercury-laden fluorescent lights.
Only a qualified state technician should be allowed to change them. Why? Lightbulbs are not funny, they are DANGEROUS:
1) Lightbulbs contain dangerous vacuum
2) Lightbulbs are made of dangerous glass; if they are dropped, they could explode and cause injury to children, adults and other living things.
3) Lightbulbs get HOT while in operation, so hot that they can cause burn injuries to untrained personnel. OW!
4) DIY comrade lightbulb changers hurt the economy by depriving state-certified and trained lightbulb changing technicians of work! You workers who change your own lightbulbs are not only endangering yourself and others but you are taking the food (and the lightbulbs) out of your comrades' mouthes! Have you no shame?
5) Used lightbulbs must be disposed of in an environmentally friendly state-approved anal-retentive regulated manner.
6) Hospitals are now required to report to the police anyone who was injured while changing or disposing of a lightbulb. Fines and jail time may be imposed. For the greater good.
Q: How many pscyzophrenics does it take to change a Ligh...
A: SHUT UP!! I'M TELLIN A JOKE HERE, YOU GUYS!!
They aren't all knee slappers, but it will be entertaining to poke honest fun at the dumb and dumber members of the progressive movement for the next four years (one term O). I hope Obama does well, I wish the people that support him like those two below were brighter bulbs in the box than they are. He wouldn't be POTUS then.
What's not funny is the Pelosi Stock market chart:
Here's who's really ruining things. We have Dumb and Dumber to thank:
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