If You Can’t Say Anything Nice, Don’t Say Anything at ALL!

This statement is a part of our national psyche. I heard this on the radio say this morning. It’s been ringing in my ears since. We are obsessed with nice in America. I grew up in the northern Great Plains. Nice is a way of life there. Minnesota Nice they call it. Even in Dakota.

At one level, not picking fights is a good thing. Keeps your nose from being bloodied. But, it has caused a whole nation to think that this is a more’ we must all live by.

That is so far from the truth. We were instructed Biblically to speak the truth in love. That means telling people what they need to hear because we love them enough to tell them. It has nothing to do with HOW you tell them. This is another case of Bible verse abuse.

So, now we have generations of people who think it is wrong to speak up. A friend of mine of over 10 years told me that I scare her. I asked why. She said that she knows I would be the one person in her life who would tell her the truth regarding her if I saw something that needed to be said. I thought about that. She doesn’t want anyone to say anything but nice.

Why should that scare anyone?

It does.

So where did this national psyche come from? You ready for this?

Thumpers Mom.

That's right. Bambi the movie. Thumper the bunny. His mom said, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”.

All we like sheep are led astray. So a nation becomes truth deniers. Silent sufferers. Incapable of confrontation. Hiding under a blanket. “Make it go away mommy, make it go away”.

GROW UP!

Truth makes you free. Sometimes it’s not always nice. But it’s always the truth and it’s always freeing. Just be sure you have enough of a loving relationship with that person to tell them the truth.

Speak the truth in LOVE.

Relationships give you the right to tell the truth or they aren't real relationships. They are shallow aquaintances. I need friends not aquaintainces. So do you. If nice is the only way to keep friends then they aren't friends.

I read Barry Kolb's blog. He has a great ecard. One of the ways you know you have a friend is if he or she is allowed to yell at you.

No yelling, no friend.

I have a friend Karma. She and I couldn't be more polar opposites in most ways politically. But I know she tells the truth. We are both german and dakotans. But we can talk at a level that allows for all yelling all the time.

Enough with all the nice.