State of the Union Thoughts from the Anchoress

I laughed out loud at the Anchoress' thoughts on last night's speech. She's a great observer of humanity.

1) Hillary always look like a snotty college sophomore at these events. What a smug, know-it-all sourpuss she is.

2) I believe President Bush says “nucular” just to piss them off. I think Charlie Rangel knows it too, he laughed when Bush pushed “nucular” power. We need to drill on our own land. Presidents have been talking about our “dependence” on foreign oil since Carter, and done nothing about it. Let’s get independent. Wind fans, even where Teddy can see them!

3) As the camera panned the chamber, it seemed to me that all of the members of Congress - with pretty much the exception of Barack Obama - looked ready to be disemboweled, stuffed and hung up at the Bates Motel. I’m not talking exclusively about the older members, either. I’ve never seen so many dead eyes.

4) Nothing about these people in Congress suggest that they know they’re our servants. Nothing. We need to remind them.

5) Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, fidgets like a 14 year old and blinks more than anyone I’ve ever seen. I was wondering if her eyes were sending out a morse code: help me…I can’t move my face…how can the country hate my congress more than it hates this mush-mouthed idiot who keeps beating us…help me…I want brie and sundried tomatoes on my blackbread…with a little prosciutto…is my brow drooping…do I need more botox…no, wait, it’s okay, just my bangs…dammit I told them to put the latest Danielle Steele behind this book cover…idiot said nucular…help me…Cheney scares me…he radiates cold…I think he can freeze me to death with his evil laser glare and then break all my bones…I want a blankie…I don’t want to stand about winning in Iraq, you loser…I’m smiling…help me…can’t we have hors de oeuvres served on little silver trays, now…goat cheese on toast points…I’m not sharing them with Reid, either…I would like a lavender pillow and a glass of cabernet…God, I hate Hillary I hope Obama stomps her good…say hello to my little friend, Obama, Hillary…I will be the first woman president…President Pelosi…President Nancy Pelosi, First Female Everything…last night I dreamed I went to Manderley again…

The Anchoress