Running your Business like Obama

From Joel at Say Anything:

Small business owners out there are preparing for life under a Barack Obama presidency. Here are some of the new rules for small businesses based on Obama’s ideals of change and fairness:

As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama officially becomes president-elect, companies will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of them. This will serve to give those who are under-achieving a “fair shake”.

2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst all employees. This will help those who are “too busy for overtime” to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as “the government.” They will not participate in this “pooling” experience because the law doesn’t apply to them.

4. The “government” will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard “for the good of all”.

5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it’s “good to spread the wealth around”. Those who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those who have worked hard and had success will feel more “patriotic”.

6. The last few people hired should clean out their desks. Don’t feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he’ll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can’t pay your mortgage.

If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn’t all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?)!!!
If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th.