Tuesday, October 02, 2007

I have been a Member of this Church

I should have made this clear, this is from Larknews.com, a Christian satire website. We know how to make fun of ourselves. We are amused at the excesses in Christianity. I only wish the excesses in vapid humanism were poked at with such good humor by themselves. A false idea can't stand scrutiny in humor. They aren't that funny.

OAK RIDGE, Tenn. — On Sunday morning at Horizon Christian Fellowship, a 15-member worship band cranks out praise songs and the pastor preaches with the aid of stadium lighting and jumbo-size screens. But the church, which is only eight months old, has an average attendance of just 28.
"If we build it, we believe they will come," says pastor Rick Allen, 26, a recent Bible college graduate.
Ninety percent of the people who attend the church participate in the service somehow, either in short dramas, humorous video clips or in traditional roles like ushering. This means that at times there is virtually no audience.
"We sit and listen in shifts," says one woman who is the lighting tech, third camera operator, head greeter and fifth grade Sunday school teacher.
Instead of starting a church in some "depressing little storefront," Allen says he decided to rent the biggest space he could find.
"It reflects our confidence in where we’re headed," he says.
But even at peak usage, the warehouse-style facility dwarfs the Sunday morning crowd. Large, empty corridors and ghostly Sunday school rooms sit unused. With the sermon and music being piped through the facility, it feels like an abandoned shopping mall.
In the massive nursery area, five kids have their pick of toys in a sprawling play room. The high-tech child care includes video surveillance and child-specific beepers, but few actual children.
"Attendance is down right now," says the nursery attendant, who is also the church secretary, missions trips coordinator and assistant to the youth pastor. "Usually we have eight kids, but the Hensons are out of town."
Allen expresses "a little frustration" that he hasn’t yet attracted the congregation he wants. Some in town say the size discrepancy makes the church feel "creepy." But Allen says his market research has identified the perfect place for a mega-church where the population was underserved. He remains confident that it will fill up.
"God honors faith," he says. "He won’t leave this place empty." •

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

what an appalling waste of time and money. the homes that could have been built through Habitat for Humanity, for example . . .

Anonymous said...

if the time and money saved just one life...like yours for example...it would be worth it!

Anonymous said...

how does a nearly empty church save a live? surely there are better ways to save more lives with the hundreds of thousands of dollars that church cost. maybe instead of playing music for each other and doing skits, those 38 people should go volunteer somewhere during that time and make a REAL difference to someone besides their selfish selves.

Anonymous said...

you just can't say ANYTHING without insulting someone, can you? the first two sentences of your explanation were welcome and that sure is an amusing site. I especially like the "bloom where you're planted" t-shirts!

but then you go on for 3 sentences to bash a group that you percieve as a threat to your gig. and to that statement regarding the lack of self-depracating humor in other areas let me just say this: Monty Python. Saturday Night Live. George Carlin. And on and on and on. You are not only insulting on that point but WRONG.

try to say things by sticking to you point in a positive way and not sticking it to some other group every time. just give it a try, gene.

Anonymous said...

It's intersting that Jesus, obviously learning the trade of a carpenter (builder), did not build a worship center to 'attract' people. His 'building' was a 'temple" not built with hands, but a spiritual body, the fellowship of those who have faith in the crucified and risen Christ as Savior and Lord. It can't be, "build it (a building) and they will come", but "come to HIM, the Head, the Savior" and you are built into His 'house' , His 'temple', His 'body', the 'church'. Obviously a place is needed for corporate worship, corporate prayer and taeching, but the Christians did not start in a 2000 seat auditorium. Our witness is not to a place, or to 'our' place for worship, but Jesus said "be witnesses of ME..."