Long long ago I studied transactional analysis under Dr James Nolan. I'm OK you're OK. You remember that don't you?
It has helped in my Marriage Counseling efforts. What is interesting is how long it has been since I've seen a real played out Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer triangle.
Most bad marriages have this going on. No one is playing the adult. One party is playing one of the other roles. And they constantly switch off pulling each other's chains like in the little script in the link.
What makes this so current is the interchange I have had with a woman who has tried playing persecutor with me, then later tried playing victim, and now is trying to play rescuer. None of which I responded to except to call what I saw in her spirit.
In my Marriage Counseling I have seen this pattern and it is dangerous. I don't who this is but if this is being acted out in the home this is not a sign of marital bliss. When I see someone playing the part as she did with me it means she believes this will get results. Sorry Mum, been there, have the tee shirt. Not playing.
Marriage is not 50 50. It's 100 100 all the time or it won't work. If someone is at various times in the marriage relationship a rescuer, a victim and a persecutor it nearly always means that the marriage is severely out of balance.
If I were a betting man, I'm betting this one is.
No comments:
Post a Comment