Child Abuse in the Church

Most churches describe their congregation as a family. And, for most churches, the more the merrier. They are lying.

Most churches don't treat their congregants as family.

More like customers, clients, Members. To be a part of the family you have to take a family training course, you have to be given a copy of the family rules, you have to take a family pledge and then if you are good enough we will accept you (conditionally) as a family member until you screw up. Then you are out on your ear.

That's not family, that's the Elks Club.

Fraternity, not Family.

What's worse is most churches like fraternities have hazing rituals. You are shunned until you show yourself approved.

I know I'm being hard on churches but if you are a pastor and if you examine your own congregation you will know how far from true family you really are as a fellowship.

Alan Knox has a great series going that I continue to post on this blog. Remixing the scripture. I'll bet with a little poking he could have some fun with the passage in acts were 3000 were added to the church in one day.

Take a look at families. They are messy. There are fights. People disagree. Feelings get hurt. But they are irrationally committed to each other. They center their relationship around Jesus.

I think it all has to do with how the leadership of the church views the people who come into the church building. Clients, Customers, potential Members? or GIFTS from God.

In a real family, that's what children are, GIFTS FROM GOD. On Saturday at Men of God (Our monthly men's meeting) I used tools as a representation for what God places in his body. Tools, gifted tools that are used for differing purposes at differing times. Valued tools. Revered tools. I Corinthians 12 has a long list of tools (Gifts). Romans 12 has another list. And Ephesians 4 has a list of those who are tool sharpeners and tool engagers.

In a family, when the gift of a child comes in, the goal of that mom and dad from that day forward is to mature that child to leave the home and start their own family. That way they become grandparents and great grandparents.

Most churches with MEMBERSHIP roles are like bad dysfunctional families, they have a hard time being parents. They want to hang on to the kids as long as possible. They are dependent on them being there to take out the garbage.

We have adult children living at home instead of out starting homes of their own.

This is not as it should be, in churches or in homes.

Your congregation is not a group of customers, clients or members. They are family. Young people you should be in the process of maturing to be sent out from you to start new families. You don't have any rights to them except the rights of a parent. They will be messy. They will be difficult.
But they are family, they didn't earn family-ship any more than a child does. They don't take a class to be a member of a family. They just show up and POOF they are a part of the family, they appear in pictures, they are Kin. No one asks them to sign a membership document.

Let's re-examine the way we look at those who God has placed in our care. We can do better than we are doing. Get rid of the Elk's Lodge mentality and accept people for who they really are. Family. Gifts from God placed in our care for our maturing and then sent out.

I see no evidence in the New Testament at all of "Membership Rituals" along with the accompanying hazing at all. If you can give any example I want to hear it. In the Old Testament there are examples of enrolling. That was for land ownership and priestly succession.

If you were born a Jew you were at once part of the Jewish Body.

That's as it should be, if you are born again, you are at once a full member of the Body of Christ.

Anything else is counterfeit and not scriptural.

I get the who gets to vote part of membership. That's not scriptural either. The Church is NOT a democracy. It's a kingdom. Look at that example and you will understand.

Membership has no place in the Church. I believe in identification and affiliation. But that's as easy as saying to someone, I am bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh.

Family.