Friday, March 07, 2008

Big Topix for Christians

It is sin for a man to pee sitting down?

Or not?

I know some of you think Christianity is boring. Nothing could be further from the truth. We have fascinating discussions. They cause men of God to ponder deep things. One of which is the Pee Position question.

A friend of mine has this post on the fall in the Garden and what that led to.

Then there is this preacher preaching about the biblical way to pee. Standing or sitting. Men, you'll never sit again.


rbb said...

I don’t get it this guy says God said “I will destroy him that pisseth against the wall”

And there it is right there in my New King Bob Google Bible II: Behold, I will bring evil upon thee, and will take away thy posterity, and will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel,

Jump back a few verses and God is pretty upset about dogs licking up blood and jump ahead a few and He’s got the dogs eating Jezebel and then He’s got dogs eating people who die standing on asphalt and then He’s birds from heaven eating people who die standing on grass.

Oh this is all to much.

Back to the guy - And then he says something to the effect that he will never sit down but only pee standing (against the wall) because …hey did he say why? Other that men pee standing up and males do it sitting down?

So in summation, God will destroy him that pisseth against a wall and this guy is going to Germany to pee standing up…and you wonder why I’m not a church going guy…

Am I missing something here or am I just gonna have to hold it until I get an sign….

What wall?
Was pissing a sign of disrespect?
Was it a holy wall?
Is there a better place to piss?
Did Jesus build that wall as part of his carpentry apprenticeship?

Was God just pissed off at the possibility of people pissing in perpetuity on His parapet and in perplexed piety, preparing preposterous pissers for prolonged punishment in purgatory? Probably, huh?

Pondering Pee,



Anonymous said...

What a hilarious sermon! People go to all kind of lengths to defend the KJV! If you were in Nigeria, at least in the 1950's and 60's as we were, you would quickly note that as you drove down the lanes through the palm trees and forests, there you would suddenly see a man or two alongside the road, peeing standing up, but they weren't peeing against a wall. there was no wall!...only bush and trees, and people-- watching! And then as you drove along you would see a woman!, yes, peeing!, not against the wall, and NOT sitting down! but STANDING UP, like a man! What were they? lesbians? Hardly! some of them had a baby wrapped around their back, but standing there,facing the road, legs wide apart, and peeing! When you gotta go, you gotta go. I think all the women of Africa of that era STOOD when they peed. They probably still do! Do you think the King James God would have been against the woman who pisseth standing up?...H.A.H.