Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Litmus test for Lockstep Liberals

If you are a legitimate lockstep liberal you should be able to answer yes to all these questions. If you are not able to answer in the affirmative to this litmus test, then i want you to turn in your I Love Al Gore poster and your secret love letters to Jimmy Carter. Oh, I'm just being a little silly and maybe a little mean here.

I know this, some of these days I am going to publish the 20 ways the modern left takes it's lockstep marching orders directly from Nazism. Every day I find another parallel. False religion (human global warming), Eugenics (abortion and euthanasia), Mind Control (opposition to homeschooling/vouchers in favor of public school indoctrination), Elimination of the 2nd amendment (first thing Hitler did), Government control and ownership of almost everything making every citizen beholden to the ruling powers, Control of opposing media (bringing back equal time doctrine) and as I think about it the whole concept that the Left is Neo-Nazi begins to make more and more sense. I hear the sound of goosestepping hobnail boots growing louder and louder. Hat tip to Neiman.

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but for support abortion (Capital punishment for an innocent fetus) on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iranian despots and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth’s climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV’s.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, Thomas Edison and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades on public streets displaying drag queens, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
21. You have to believe that it’s okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it’s not okay to say “Merry Christmas.”

Last but not least

22. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

All that was left for RBB to do was wipe away a lone tear and wave goodbye as the crazy bus pulled away from the station. His dear friend Gene could only nod as the white coat he wore restricted movement for his own protection. With his rosy face pressed impossibly against the fogging glass, Gene mouthed the words RBB had heard so often in their limited time together…its Clintons fault…its Clintons fault.

Here’s looking at you kid, we’ll always have SA.

Gene said...

Now Robert, Do you think you are the only L/L who reads my pitiful tirades?

I am a universal offender of all people I care about as I care about you. This had no particular target on your back or front as it was launched. So, please, come back little RBB'y Come back.

(As a tear trickled down his unabashed conservative freckled face).

We is who we is, and this borrowed wisdom or lack thereof was of significant amusement to those of us who find amusement in such things. Easily amused am I.

No direct offense intended and I am hopeful none taken.